Lauren Nicole

Why, Hello Old Friend.

2011-10-30T23:57:00.000-05:00

So, I had kind of decided I was going to do away with this blog, but there is just TOO much history on here. Which, coincidentally, was the reason I wanted to delete it in the first place...
Now, I think I may just keep posting on it. I'll probably keep the name, too. Even though I've since been married and changed my name. [Yay!] Too many people know this address. It would be such a hassle to change it.

I'm mostly on the fence still about this "decision" though. So please don't beat me up if 12 hours from now you find a new post saying I'M MOVING!! With a new web address attached.

Speaking of web addresses.. Did you know you don't have to use .com anymore?? Okay, I haven't actually checked into that, but I did hear about it on TV the other day.

Anyone not started Christmas shopping yet?? I've got a running list made, but that's about as far as I've got.

*LaurenNicole*

Wedding Stuff...

2010-10-10T20:12:00.000-05:00

Our wedding website if finished now. I may play with it between now and December, but probably not too much. The Registery is up and going.... ;) lol

We got a lot of wedding details accomplished this afternoon. I loved getting to go to the Warehouse and trying to picture how everything would be set up :)

And we FINALLY got our song picked out for our first dance! I wanted to cry when I heard it---I was ready to get the wedding started right then and there after that!

www.theknot.com/ourwedding/mr&mrsjacobpelham

Got the Site Up!

2010-09-29T18:05:00.000-05:00

Our Wedding Website :)

Engagement

2010-09-23T17:52:00.000-05:00

It's all starting to come together a little. The wedding, that is. We've got our Engagement pictures taken care of and our guest lists are made, the location is (finally) agreed upon, I've got my dressed picked out and purchased, his tux is picked out and ready to go...etc. All that's left is meeting with the DJ and the lady making my cake, making all the flower arrangements and getting a few more decoration bought/borrowed. Oh, and nailing down a schedule for the day. That parts kind of important, too. ;-)

I am SO grateful for all the help I've had these past few months. This would have been a million times harder and taken longer than the few months we gave ourselves if we didn't have everyone pushing us and giving us tips and ideas.

This weekend Jacob and I are going back to my hometown to take care of the newspaper and registering at J&J and True Value (mom's idea...) and to pick up a few of my things that I never got a chance to get. Usually I go alone and I'm in such a rush to get back to Jacob that I don't take care of everything I need to take care of. It's going to be nice having Jacob home with me. :)

I'm in the process of making a website for Jacob and I. Now that almost everything is decided i'll be able to put all the details of our engagement/wedding on there plus some pictures. :)
I'll post the web address as soon as I get the site finished...or almost finished.

Give Me That Summer Lovin'

2010-05-11T15:13:00.003-05:00

Can you feel it??
Summer is definitely in the air! I even changed my music on here to my "Summer Favorites" to help set the mood for me when I am writing.

Our squash plants are starting to have little squash babies! :) I guess it's about that time again to pull out my Summer recipes and stock the shelves with plenty of white wine, (cooking wine, of course) Italian herbs and seasonings, and make sure the refrigerator is always full of Summer fruits and veggies! Oh, how I LOVE Summer cooking!!! :)
Summer also means much more reading and writing! Summer has always put me in the mood to read and write. First on the reading list, all my old favorites: Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, Common Sense, Emma, The Christmas Sweater and lastly, Sense and Sensibility. I always intend on reading more, but generally I never get too far past my favorites. I cannot wait to get started!

Last Summer I started writing several books. They were children's book. Too bad summer classes got in the way of me finishing, but who knows....I may put the finishing touches on a few this Summer and see what happens.

Well, off to lay in the sun!!

2010-05-06T21:09:00.002-05:00

I'm a very, very lucky girl with a very, very special boyfriend. He makes me smile even when it's the LAST thing I feel like I can do and he is always successful in making me feel like the most beautiful, amazing, smartest girl in the world. I couldn't have found a better guy out there even if I had created him myself!
He's everything I need and more and I found that out once again tonight after my hair dying accident....
I truly am blessed.

2010-03-26T13:07:00.002-05:00

I got called in to work today and I must say, it's been the craziest day Ive worked--by far!
I love it though. Id do it every day if I could (minus weekends, of course).
I went home on my lunch break to find that one of our cats had kittens...right on the front porch. :/
They'll probably be dead in a week or so though. The mom is young and doesn't seem to want anything to do with them. If Tifni were still living at the house she would take care of them Id bet. Who knows what will happen now though.

Undeniably Me

2010-02-18T23:24:00.010-06:00

Midnight Pomegranate is my favorite lotion.

I love burning candles.

I usually save my meat for last when I'm eating because I'm still not a big fan of the stuff.

Cotton and cows make me smile :)
Blue is my favorite color

and I adore pearls!

I love crunching around in the snow...when we have it.

I think its cute to walk behind Jacob in the big footprints he leaves.

I love it when he tickles me, even though I act like I want him to stop.

Sweet tea and Dr. Pepper are my two favorite drinks.

I used to be addicted to Mt. Dew and Strawberry-Kiwi Capri Suns.

I love just about anything with strawberries in it.

My Grandmother was an amazing woman and I always do what I can to be more like her.

She gave me the confidence to cook and bake and now I love, love , LOVE it! :)

Sometimes I use too much butter when I cook ;)

And sometimes I rush my mushrooms and they don't saute correctly.

I love looking at the stars.

I used to study them for fun.

I love reading

and writing.

I want to write and publish a book someday.

Or maybe a series of children's books..

I used to want to open a daycare until I found out how much I loved studying medicine.

I wrote out every single detail of how my daycare would be ran.

I still have the spiral I wrote it all in....somewhere in my closet :/

I'm bad about keeping my closet organized.

I like my mom's friend Kimberly.

Shes so full of life and adventure!

Mom's lucky to know her.

One of these days I want to go to a Cowboy church.

Maybe Sunday?

I think Id like it.

I miss church. :/

My family is crazy.

Like insanely crazy.

There's never a dull moment.

But I'm proud to be apart of it.

I'm going to miss them one day if I ever get around to leaving.

The end.

For now..

2010-02-18T13:59:00.005-06:00

I want a barn. Traditional. Big and red with pure white trim, nestled between rolling green hills with perfectly aged Oak trees standing erect in the distance and a peaceful, rock-lined stream flowing along the property line.

Tragic though it may seem, it's mostly superficial.

2009-10-29T23:35:00.004-05:00

Distance is no friend of mine. 2.5 hours doesn't seem like much....until it becomes the one thing that keeps you from what you want most often.

I'm in the mood to write a poem tonight, but that mood will probably pass by the second or third stanza so why bother..
I haven't really felt like writing much this semester. Perhaps it's because I usually do my best writing when I'm unhappy or feel close to God, neither of which I've been lately. I started off this semester so on fire for God, but silly me....fires eventually burn out. It was superficial. I want what I had last semester, what I had this summer, something! Anything is better than what I have now.
"No matter how many steps you take away from God all it takes is just one step back towards Him and He'll be right there." Jordan said that one night at Craft's college bible study and I'm quite certain it will stick with me forever.

Knowing my blog is like synced with my facebook page or whatever kind of keeps me from writing as freely as I'm used to because I know more people will have access to this than just my family and hometown friends who usually keep up with me through my blog. That being said, I've got nothing more to say till I can remember how to fix it so my blog posts stop showing up on facebook.

another poem..

2009-08-28T22:17:00.003-05:00

This is just a real laid back poem I wrote one night for my little sister before she left for college. The rhyme scheme changes a lot, which isn't very ideal I suppose, but it's not too hard to follow.

New Journey

Lauren Parsons

We've been together through the years,

side by side we've conquered fears.

The years were hard, we made it through;

the laughs you brought were always true.

Some may say the time is near

for closing books and wiping tears,

but life is just beginning, Love,

and you will always rise above.

Share with the world what you've shared with us,

let them see it's in God you trust.

Go now into the world so wide,

let truth and honor be your guide.

Our separate paths will cross real soon,

we'll laugh and tease in your messy room.

Oh, the stories we will have to share,

I wonder who will have longer hair? ;)

These months will pass with grace and ease,

and you can always visit...please?

Until then remember, Sis

you are truly, deeply missed.

Looking for Rest

2009-08-09T20:29:00.003-05:00

I need rest. Not the kind you find when your head hits the pillow, but the kind only the Lord can give. The peace only He provides. I want to run to my Father's arms and find sweet rest in Him.

Such rest He brings. Oh, how I long for that rest.

2009-07-13T18:00:00.003-05:00

Sleep

You left last night to dwell with another
Torn thoughts and plans, again, your cover.
Dear Sleep, I see you wish to go,
though I must strongly beg you, No!

You tease me now with dreary eyes
Oh Comfort! You're my pleasing prize.
Soft pillows gently frame my head
while lying motionless in bed.

Oh Sleep, come now! I'm ready, see?
Quiet slumber, this, my plea.

Come tender sleep, labor dreams through the hours.
Then rise with the sun and the morning dew showers.
Take with you your warmth and ease,
but do come back tomorrow, please.

It's not the people who are screaming that need attention

2009-06-16T00:07:00.002-05:00

June 16th.

This time a year ago I was laying in bed at my grandmother's house texting, writing emails, and listening to Only Hope and Heavenly Day over and over until I grew too tired to stay up.

Then I went out to the balcony and stared at the moon until I accidentally fell asleep.

So much has changed since that night.

Oh, what I would give to go back!

Death.

Death came into my world and turned it upside down and inside out.

Death came in and ripped my heart out. Upon realizing that wasn't enough pain, death proceeded to tear my heart to shreds before my weary eyes.

Bitterness.

Bitterness towards death has weakened me.

Bitterness has come into my life and reeked havoc despite how hard I have tried to push it out.

Memories.

Memories have flooded through me like Katrina into NOLA.

No picture, no memorabilia, no thought of her escapes me now. And with each, the pain of my loss is only intensified.

Her last words will forever grace my memory.

"Bye Lauren. I love you. I'll see you in two weeks."

She then turned to walk out the door, but just as she crossed the threshold she looked back at me and said, "Well, maybe not."

Then she smiled her warm smile and walked away.

Never to return.

She was visiting my aunt and uncle for two weeks.

She loved it down there.

It is partially because of them that I do not allow myself to let depression or pain rule me. [Though, it would be very easy.]

You see, they, my aunt especially, had/have it far worse than I.

It was their house she died in.

I'm not sure I would have the strength to pass by the room she stayed in.

I'm not sure I could sit at the kitchen table without picturing her bright face there once again.

I'm not sure I have the strength to stay away from her memories.

Love.

Unconditional love.

You can't hardly think of Grandmother without also thinking of the unconditional love she showed. For this, I will always be grateful.

I find myself acting in ways I saw her act and it pleases me.

She was a woman you could live by, if ever there were such a need.

I've held back pain, I've held back tears.

I'm broken now, but Yours to heal.

The light You bring in darkest night,

will shine beyond the suns' own might.

Take my hand and guide me, Lord.

Show the path you have in store.

My feet they search in light of You,

My hands, Oh Lord, forever use.

Wrap me in your tender care,

don't let go, I need You there.

Shake from me my deepest fears,

wipe away my falling tears.

Forevermore I'm Yours, Oh Lord.

forevermore, forevermore.

In loving memory:

Letha Jo Parsons

June 16, 2008

Kristen's Graduation Walk

2009-06-11T21:52:00.002-05:00

2009-06-03T02:55:00.002-05:00

I would like to think that five, ten years from now...these are the nights I will remember most. =)

Goodnight, friends.

Summer of Growth.

2009-05-27T22:57:00.005-05:00

Sitting in youth tonight (which was great, btw) I realized this is the summer of growth for me. I'm growing mentally, socially, and I'm growing closer to God--what a general phrase, cliche. Let me break it all down.

I was laying in bed two nights ago thinking about where my life is going, the short and long, and I decided this is it. I get this one shot at life, this one chance to be used for something greater (something I want but never really end up putting much effort into)but what difference am I really making? (what youth doesn't ask that at some point? lol) When I first started school last semester I prayed God would use me to change that place (see previous posts). To wake that place up to what God wanted for us all, but as the semester raced on my desire to be His tool slipped more and more. And more quickly than I realized the semester was coming to a close and I hadn't made much of an impact. I was so down on myself....some of you whom I went to school with may have noticed my absence, not just in the classroom, but in conversations, in the general company I usually kept, from the library, ect..
I ran, retreated to the bright new worlds my books took me and the comfort of my bed. For about a week I didn't go to hardly any of my classes, I just stayed in my room and thought, slept, cried and eventually started praying. I felt guilty (Satan's tool) and worthless and it took what seemed like ages to get over.
But I finally did get past it all. I spoke with my sister, with whom words could never describe, about everything I was going through--my thoughts, feelings, hopes and despairs and I asked that she would pray with me. Oh, what a blessing that young woman is!
A few days later my roommate mentioned a girls bible study she wanted to start next semester and asked if I would be interested in it. In short,.........duh! lol

Tonight I decided I am not letting the rest of my time at JBC go to waste. Yes, I am sure I will stumble. I am not so naive as to believe otherwise but this is the summer of growth. I am going to let God grow me. I am going to let Him mold me. I am His and when I fall, and I will fall, He will be my aid in getting back up, in dusting off and moving on.
Am I totally ready right this second? No, not really. There are still things I think I have to learn this summer in preparation for what is to come. Will I be ready when the time comes? You better believe it.

As far as the mental growth I have been doing this summer (and it kinda relates spiritually): Tonight I also decided to stop letting Satan make me feel guilty about what happened a few months ago. I am afraid the distance is still something I will not budge on though......
No more secret friendships for me. Talk to me in person and then perhaps I'll answer your texts... just saying...

In regards to the social growth: hmmm....actually that one is a bit more involved. I'll save it for another time perhaps.

I had a post on here not too long ago that opened with something about how when God is working in you it seems like everything else around you is also focused towards what God's doing.....yeah, that's happening lately and it feels.....indescribable.

Okay, that's enough of an update for now. I have a book or two calling my name and it's far too tempting not to answer ;)

Memorial Day.

2009-05-22T16:44:00.002-05:00

Monday is Memorial Day; a day off of work, a day for cookouts, the unofficial start of summer, a day for baseball games, and a day for parades. But above all, Memorial Day is of course a day for remembering those members of our military that have made the ultimate sacrifice over the past 230+ years.

I think it's safe to say a lot of us feel there are many things wrong with America today, or that it's heading down the wrong road. But, there are many more things that are right with America! And one of the biggest is the men and women of our military. These brave souls are: sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, friends, and co-workers. They come from poor and rich families. They come from every religion. They come from every corner of this great nation, from Alaska to Florida, and from Maine to Hawaii.

Ultimately they do what is probably the bravest and most noble thing a person can do, they decide to put their lives on the line to protect the lives of others. They put their lives on the line for freedom, liberty, and justice. They put their lives on the line for the right to vote for whoever you want to, the right to say whatever you want, the right to worship God in any way you choose, and the right to not worship God at all. They put their lives on the line so that those before them did not do so in vein. They put their lives on the line for their brothers and sisters standing next to them in battle. They put their lives on the line for Old Glory and everything she stands for. They put their lives on the line for you, me, and all of America.

They are Coast Guardsmen, Airmen, Soldiers, Sailors, and Marines. They are heroes. They are the reason I'm safe and free. They are the reason I can complain about stuff like the way my favorite sports team is playing, traffic, and gas prices. They are the reason why I have the freedom to go on a website like this and post something that reaches a few dozen people.

To all the members of our military (past and present) and their families, especially those that have made the ultimate sacrifice, I say this. I know there is no way I could possibly give you the thanks you truly deserve. I admire and respect you and the sacrifices you make very much. I will always be thankful that I have the best people from the best country protecting me day and night. You all are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

God bless our Military who are protecting our Country for our freedom. Thanks to them, and their sacrifices we can celebrate on Memorial Day. We must never forget who gets the credit for the freedoms we have, of which we should be grateful.

I hope everyone has a safe, fun, and happy Memorial Day! Please if you ever see a service member, thank them, especially this weekend.

~Lauren Nicole

Glenn Beck on "The View"

2009-05-20T11:02:00.011-05:00

*shudders*

I just watched Glenn Beck on "The View" and may I say..... no, wait. I need to go take a shower first. I feel dirty.
I sat in front of the TV for 45 minutes watching those women rip apart topic after brainless topic until Glenn came on and it's got me feeling like I just rolled around in a large pile of the world's most disgusting garbage. Ew.

Glad the show is over. I did at least learn something today. The order of introduction is VERY important! You should always have your facts straight about who spoke first. Always. WHAT A JOKE THESE "VIEW" WOMEN ARE!! hahaha

They started the interview off with an argument over who spoke to whom first on a train a few weeks back.... it was, without a doubt, the most childish discussion I've ever seen on television. I was embarrassed for Barbra Walters and Whoopi Goldberg. They looked like little kids up there! Hah, who am I kidding? I enjoyed watching them make fools of themselves. I can't wait for Glenn's show later to hear how he responds to it all. Hopefully, he wont apologize too much. He has no reason to, despite what those two women thought.

They later talked about his opinion of Pelosi resigning. And by "talked about his opinion" I mean Glenn gave his opinion and the women twisted it, like most Liberals are accustom to doing, until it hardly resembled his original opinion at all. Hey, at least they kinda let him give his opinion though, right?

The rest of the show consisted of Glenn trying to talk and them running over his words; constantly twisting and turning them, often before he could even get them out of his mouth.

It was sickening watching them fight over who would be the first to catch him in the lies they were fabricating. Sickening, I tell you.

How is this show still on air after all this time? Why do they have so many viewers, pardon the pun. I can only conclude that their viewers consist of Jerry Springer fans and catty, young adult women who have a baby on each hip, chicken frying on the stove and nine dogs running around. My point being, no intelligent person has any business watching that show on a regular basis. It's disgusting and I feel as though I've lost about 10% of my brain cells and like no amount of showering will ever make me clean again after just having watched one episode. There really must be more stupid people in the world than I thought. Sad.

Glenn did well though. I'd rather he not keep such company but other than that, I'm glad it's over and pleased he didn't have his head ripped off of his neck right before my very eyes by those beasts.

Looking for a cheap and easy meal?

2009-05-17T08:56:00.002-05:00

I tried to keep this as basic as I could and with as few ingredients as possible. Obviously, expansion on any or all aspects of this meal preparation is welcomed. :)

Ingredients:
Pasta--I like bowties best for this dish, but you can use whatever you'd like. Penne pasta works great as well.
Mushrooms--I like baby bella mushrooms, but again, use what you'd like.
Two Sauces--A red sauce and a white sauce. Classico has a very nice variety of 'white sauces'. My favorite is Sun Dried Tomato. The Mushroom Alfredo is good in this dish, too.
As for the 'red sauce', try Ragu's traditional pizza sauce.

Italian spices
Salt (to taste) Unless you go with the other option, mentioned later.
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Butter (about 1/8 of a stick)

Start by boiling a pot of water (don't forget to add a pinch of salt, its better for the noodles). You will be able to tell when your water is ready for the pasta by simply stirring the water. If it continues to boil, its ready, if stirring the water makes it stop boiling then it's not ready.

Measure the pasta you need. Pasta generally doubles in size when cooked, so 1 cup uncooked = 2 cups cooked.
Slowly add the pasta to the boiling water. Ideally, the water shouldn't stop boiling, but if that happens, it's okay.
Now, stir, stir and stir some more! Pasta will stick together if it isn't stirred enough in the beginning. Let your pasta cook for 8-12 minutes.

While it's cooking you should start your sauces.
Pour your "red" and "white" sauces into separate pots on medium heat. Add roughly half a cup of water to each then stir until the water is absorbed.

To the red sauce, add your Italian spices. I've never actually measured how much to use but I usually sprinkle in enough to evenly cover the top of the pot. You really can't go wrong with it unless you like accidentally screw the lid off wrong and end up dumping in half the bottle... of course, even then all you have to do is scoop out the excess and laugh at yourself a little.

Now that you have your sauces going go back and check on your pasta. By now it should be "al dente" or firm, yet tender.
Taste it and see if it needs to be cooked longer. Unless you had it cooking on a low setting, it should be finished and ready to drain. Don't rinse it. That takes off all the starches and wont allow your sauces to stick. Just let it sit in the colander and let the excess water drain off.

While that's draining, get a small skillet and add Olive Oil(enough to coat the bottom) and your butter (about 1/8 of a stick). Turn the burner on medium-high heat.

In waiting for the Olive Oil to heat up you will want to prepare your mushrooms.
There is no need to peel mushrooms. The only trimming they may need is the stem end, if it's dry, or the tough stem portion of Shiitakes or the root of the Portabella. All other mushroom stems may be prepared along with the caps.
Mushrooms can be sliced thick or thin, cut in quarters, coarsely or finely chopped using a sharp knife. I like to slice mine thin. Remember, they shrink once you start cooking them.

By now your skillet should be nice and warm for you. So, carefully add in the mushrooms. If it sizzles right away that's fine but if it pops a lot then turn down the heat just a little.
To Saute mushrooms: cook and stir them until they are golden and the released juices have evaporated. It will take about five minutes (stir your sauces in the meantime). Don't overcrowd the skillet or the mushrooms will steam rather than brown.

(OPTIONAL) Recently, I experimented with my red sauce by adding feta cheese. It gave it a slightly fuller taste, not to mention a pretty color.

A helpful hint: feta has a somewhat salty taste.

I will probably start using feta for now on as a replacement to salt because not only did it have a better taste but it also has better health benefits.
If you want to use feta in your sauce simply cut off a block of cheese, roughly the size of your thumb. Then, mince it (cut it into tiny pieces..dice it then run your knife through it till its about as small as you can get it). Sprinkle the feta into your sauce and stir. It wont melt in so don't worry if you still see the lumps after several minutes of stirring.

By now everything should be coming together nicely. You pasta is ready to be platted, your sauces are smelling wonderfully and your mushrooms are simmering away quietly, moments away from being placed atop your dish.

Now, what I like to do is layer everything in individual bowls. Starting with the pasta, then a little red sauce (it goes a looong way), then the white, top it all off with sauteed mushrooms and bon appetite!
A little grated Parmesan goes well on top also.

This is a quick, inexpensive meal the entire family can enjoy and you can be proud of.
Look out Olive Garden, there's a new Italian chef in town!! :)

I'd be more than happy to answer any questions or address your comments.

So, feel free to email me.

Lparsons11@gmail.com

Check em out:

2009-05-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/Lparsons11

~Lauren Nicole

Dearest Mother,

2009-05-10T03:13:00.009-05:00

On this, the day we are told to remember our mother's

I would like to present you with this post

in hopes that it will show you how much you mean to me,

to all of us.

Happy Mother's Day.

I was in your tummy for 9 months and all I got was:
Your eyes,
Your passion,
Your love for politics, learning, teaching and cooking,
Your ability to think on my own but to work with others,
Your desire to do what's right even if it means doing it alone,
Your curiosity,
Your tenacity,
Your love for the Lord,
Your hope for the lost,
Your knowledge that prayer, prayer
and more prayer is always the right answer to any situation.
Your strength in troubled times,
and the will to make it through.
Your capability to look at the world with open eyes,
not judging things based on how the rest of the world perceives itself,
Your ability to be resourceful,
Your kind caring attitude, understanding, patience and helpfulness towards others,
Your knowledge of what a young lady should act like;

But more than anything, Mom...
You've given me you.
What more could I possibly ask for?

"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for all the countless things you've taught me,
"H" is for her heart that loves the Lord;
"E" is for her ears that always stop to listen,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be, ;-)

Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,
"A word that means the world to me.

If I could give you diamonds

for each tear you cried for me.

If I could give you sapphires

for each truth you’ve helped me see.

If I could give you rubies

for the heartache that you’ve known

If I could give you pearls

for the wisdom that you’ve shown.

Then you’ll have a treasure, mother,

that would mount up to the skies

That would almost match

the sparkle in your kind and loving eyes.

But I have no pearls, no diamonds,

As I’m sure you’re well aware

So I’ll give you gifts more precious

My devotion, love and care

You were there when we took our first steps,
And went unsteadily across the floor.
You pushed and prodded: encouraged and guided,
Until our steps took us out the door...

You worry now "Are they okay?"
Is there more you could have done?
As we walk the paths of our unknown
You wonder"Where have my children gone?"

Where we are is where you have led us,
With your special love you showed us a way,
To believe in ourselves and the decisions we make.
Taking on the challenge of life day-to-day.

If I knew as a child what I know now, Mom,

I probably wouldn't have made things so hard for you.

I would have understood,

that you were looking out for my best interests.

I would have known how difficult it is to let go,

to stand back and let someone you love
learn from their mistakes.

I would have realized
how fortunate I was to have a mother
who was always there for me,
even after an argument,

even after I'd said things I shouldn't have.

While it's too late for a lot of things

it's not too late for me to tell you

that I appreciate how loving you are,

how giving you've always been

and that even though

I may not always be good at showing it,

I love you very much.

~~~l~~~

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

I love you.

More than you will know,

more than I can show.

And can I just say-

"The cake is done but you are finished"

A line that will carry on for many years to come, I'm sure.

Thank you, Ms. English Major, for teaching us proper grammar. ;-)

thoughts going through my mind...

2009-05-09T11:49:00.002-05:00

It's been one year today.
[Don't ask, please]

Summer is officially here. My finals are over and I couldn't be more pleased with how well this semester turned out. And my summer classes should be challenging enough to hold my attention for a while.

Debussy is really great. [it's what I'm listening to right now]

I wonder where I'm going to put all my stuff from my dorm. It seems like I came back with a LOT more than I originally left with.. :/

Epic Movie...was an epic FAIL! That was, without a doubt, the gayest movie I've ever seen.
I had like 10 movies recorded (thank you, whoever created DVR) to watch this weekend but only got around to like 3 of them.. Epic Movie was such a waste of time.
It was one of those movies you watch thinking it will get better....but never does... At the end I was like "Wow, that's the movie? Why the crap did I just sit here and watch all of that?" But, I truly did think it was going to get better. Before I knew it, it was over though...and still just as lousy in the end as in the beginning and middle and every tiny second in between. ugh.

Sleep sounds nice.

Brunch with Kristen was really nice this morning. I need to buy more bella mushrooms though. Between the mushroom risotto last night and the mushroom, tomato omelets for brunch..I'm all out. Oh, and that reminds me..I need to look up new recipes that use white wine... I still have some of that left from the risotto and it would be fun to cook with it again.

Wow, I cant believe its already been a year. Life has funny twists sometimes.

Bella Ciao has been stuck in my head for the past 48 hours. Ive tried a billion different ways to get it out but I'm afraid its taking a vacation in my head for a while. I heard another Italian song the other day that I wouldn't mind having in my head for a while. It was so pretty and fun to sing along to [even if I only knew like half the words lol] I don't remember the name of the song though...hmm.. maybe it will come to me later.

Watching Pearl Harbor last night was a bad idea. I was too mad to sleep afterwards. All I wanted to do was go shoot some dang Commie Japs... terrible to say out loud, huh? Well, it's done now. Guess I'll take whatever criticism comes my way.

I feel like painting.

The song I'll Be Your Lover, Too sung by Rob Pattinson makes me Laugh Out Loud.

I need to find a summer job. CSBE sent me a job application. I wonder if I can work around my summer classes? That sure would be a fun job to have! :)

My piano playing has come a long way in the past two weeks. I have noticed a difference at least. If I had an electric keyboard I could practice a lot more. I can't find one I like enough to buy though.

The Script. A new band I've started listening to... I think I really am starting to like them, too.. despite the fact that most of their songs are like sad, love songs. It's like sad country music meets pop/Indie.

Oooh! Angela is giving me the new As Cities Burn CD on Sunday!! :) Well, that thought just made my day 10x better! hehe

Thanks to Twitter I found another new band.. Fin Raziel. I haven't decided if I like them yet or not.

I wonder if I'll be able to get away with taking a nap today. I think I can squeeze one in.

This is terrible writing.
I needed an outlet for my thoughts though.

That man is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose

2009-03-30T00:39:00.010-05:00

At times, it seems that God puts His finger on something and then everywhere you look you see it. Lately, that is the way things seem to be in my life. God is working wonders in the youth group at FBC. God is working wonders in me.

In my own life He is working in several areas all for one purpose, for the fellowship of He and I together.
Ranging from purity (physical and spiritual), to planting seeds of change, to shyness--He is hard at work. I want to camp on the purity thing for a bit then move on... I'll try and make this post short and to the point but I can't make any promises ;-)

A few weeks back the image of God giving away the first bride, Eve, was presented during youth group and it blew me away. I came back to school that night and gave a recap of the entire service to anyone who would stop long enough to listen and if they wouldn't stop Id just follow them around until I was finished talking. Always finishing with, "What a beautiful image! God walking the bride down a row of peaches in the peach orchard or something, giving to Adam the totally perfect match that was created by God just for him! God knew exactly what Adam wanted. He knew the desires of his heart--amazing!"
God knows the desires of my heart. He knows exactly what I need! He has created a man for me that is far better than any man I can pick out on my own. Why date around searching for "Mr. Right"??
Besides, God's not finished growing me to be the woman that God's Mr. Right needs me to be. That night I spent time with God and He brought me through a time of brokenness and restoration that was amazing beyond words followed by a time of indescribable praise!
God wasn't finished with me though, thankfully. In the days to come God showed me it wasn't only sexual purity He wanted from me. Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. As I spent time in the Word and time in prayer God grew in me a desire not only for physical purity but also spiritual purity like never before! A simple concept is seems but--wow.

Moving on.. Hopefully this doesn't sound too choppy and rushed. I'm trying to keep it from being too long (not to mention its late and my morning class is going to come a lot sooner than Id like as it is! lol)

During Spring Break Retreat (amazing!) my beautiful sister, Kristen, and dearest friend, CI, taught a small group on planting the seed of change. God worked and what they shared was such a blessing! Later that day I went to another small group with Rebecca and Sammy who brought the idea of missions and it tied in so perfectly with what I had just heard from Kris and CI. I was once again blown away and couldn't help but see God was working. I took what I learned that weekend back with me to Jacksonville and I've seen some pretty spectacular changes! =)

Prior to Spring Break Retreat, my sister and I had been discussing some of the unexpected feelings Ive had about my new school.

Before going on any further, I'll share my feelings. There is no point going on without doing so.
I had it in my head that this school was going to be not only a place to grow my mind but also a place to grow spiritually (given that it's a Christian school and whatnot..) however, after a few weeks of being here I realized, shy of a few things here and there, this was merely a glorified version of High School.
I was so disappointed, so discouraged. I wanted (and fully expected) to walk through the halls and hear people talking about Jesus, to sit at lunch and hear how God was growing my new friends, to see people gathered and the Bible being dug into. Instead, I have to close my ears in the hall so I'm not bombarded with filth, fight hard not to leave during lunch, and turn my head from make-out sessions on the couches with MTV on in the background.
It wasn't exactly as pretty on the inside as it was a few months ago looking in.

After a lot of prayer and application of the things God showed me during SBR, my opinions have changed a bit. I look at things differently. I take this place one day at a time. And I pray for patience and the words to say when it's my time to talk.
Which brings me back to Kristen and CI's group about the seeds of change... after realizing there was still a lot of God to be shared in this place I asked God to give me the words to say when I spoke to people and the knowledge to be silent when I needed to be silent. It seemed however, that the more I tried to bring God into the mix, the more I got rejected--rejection sucks by the way... I found myself wanting nothing more than to just sink back into my quiet self and hope that no one talked to me ever again... it was much less painful that way.
For a few days I even tried that. I spoke only when spoken to and I kept my head down at all costs. This brought on a considerable amount of misery though because I was no longer doing what God wanted of me. Something inside me needed to change.

In the small group at Spring Break Retreat one of the girls said, "It's not you they are rejecting." It was the strangest thing yet when I heard them say it I knew it was meant for me and I was instantly filled with such hope! God had used those girls to help me and to spur me on in a time when I simply wanted to toss in the towel.

Moving on real quick to how God has been working in me in regards to my shyness then it's bedtime for me..
For literally months now I've struggled like never before with my shyness and how I KNOW I have to get over it because it's a huge hindrance for me. Example: I don't pray in public. Period. I would like to, the desire is there.. but just as I'm about to open my mouth I get nervous and scared and my hands sweat and, and, and.... I hold my tongue.
Example two: During SBR I made a few videos with Sammy and CI that basically gave a summary of what had happened that weekend. In one of the videos I decided I was going to pass the camera to someone else and stop hiding behind it for once. Sammy was in the video with me and I knew she, at some point, was going to ask me what I had learned that day and I was so ready with my answer when she did! God had been working and I wanted nothing more than to tell people about it.
"This week God has grown me closer to the people in this youth group and closer to Him. He has shown me that I need to put up my shield against Satan and the fiery darts he throws at me daily. And I've been encouraged to go out and tell people about the things God has done and what He is doing daily. I've also been taught that my life is worth something to God. He created me and when He did he gave my life purpose and a plan. He did this for all of us! And when I go back to Jacksonville I plan on taking what I've learned with me and sharing it with everyone I can so they are filled with the same hope that I was filled with this weekend."

At least that's what I wanted to say...

When it came down to it though it sounded more like this, "This week I learned that.." [Huuuuge pause...I was struggling in my mind with what I wanted to say originally and with what I ended up saying]..... "planting the seed...." [another huuuge pause where once again I am fighting to say what I really, really want to say and what I know will end my sentence faster and get me out of the spotlight and back in my comfort zone]...... "is a good thing." Then I have this really lame grin on my face where I am trying so hard not to show how disgusted I am with myself for once again letting my stupid shyness get in the way of what I want!

I HAVE to get over it.

This morning I was sitting in church listening to Jason preach and a thought came to me...
I was with the youth group listening to the usual people pray out loud then all of a sudden I started praying out loud and I didn't feel scared or nervous. It was just me and God like as if I were praying all alone in my room to Him or in my head. At the end of the prayer I gave God all the glory and praise for allowing me to pray out loud to Him in a room full of people...

It may seem silly that I had such a thought but.....I was filled with hope! I have faith that my shyness will one day no longer be a problem and when that day comes, oh boy, you'll know it for sure cause He is going to get ALL the glory and praise!! =)
I serve an amazing Lord, my friends. He gives me hope and joy like no one or nothing else can. It's indescribable. Amazing.

Okay, as previously mentioned, it's bedtime for me.
Before I post this though I want to open this up for discussion. Let me know what you think, how God's working in you, how He gives you hope, whatever. . . It's open to you. Discuss. =)
Goodnight.

Kiss the world with your burning lips.

2009-03-19T21:17:00.002-05:00

I miss the people from my past who are no longer a part of my life.

Feel free to assume I am talking about you because chances are, I am.
Unless you, the reader, are someone who is currently a part of my life then this post is not for you. I do thank you, however. I am sure you make my life special and that is perfectly fine with me.

My spring break has been amazing, by the way. You should consider asking me about it. Expect lengthy answers though.

What's My Story?

2009-03-02T19:42:00.004-06:00

Time seems to be passing slow tonight.
I promise I don't mind.
The thoughts passing through my mind are not thoughts I entertain often.

My roommate is at work so it's quiet this evening.
Typically, I try to gain knowledge in my quiet moments; searching through time-worn books or countless Internet sources.
Tonight however, is a peaceful night. My mind is at rest. Somewhat.
Occasionally I have a fleeting thought only to be chased away by my minds desire for total silence.
In case you are curious, as I know I would be, the fleeting thought is always the same, "What's my story?"

The more I ask myself the more frustrated I get because I don't seem to have a good enough answer.
You should hear my story. Though, I'm certain you wouldn't be very entertained.
It has a nice beginning but that's about it. You should hear it regardless.
Perhaps you should ask me sometime. Or perhaps I'll write it in due time. Meanwhile--

It's cold in this room but suitable.
It's loud in the hall but music can drown it out.
Clothes scatter the floor and papers paint the dresser in a scribbled white but even that is merely an eye sore.
The frustration my "story" brings me is all that seems to be bothering me lately (despite what I tell people).
I blame my frustration on other trivial things like sleep, homework or women who always feel the need to be saying something at all times, all the while holding back what I know truly has me at my ends these days.
What if someone asks?
Will I have the right answer?
Things like these aren't found in books and that bothers me. I like finding the answers hidden in dusty, age-perfumed pages--a forgotten resource to some.

Flash and emotions.
My story is lacking both.
That's okay though, right?

Again, another question without an answer.

What's my story?
I knew I needed Christ.
Shortly after asking Him to save me from an eternal death I started to desire a personal relationship with Him. And it's been a relationship that has outdone any other!
The end.

(basically).

I grew up in church so I don't have some outlandish story, "I was a druggie saved by grace" or "I found Jesus in prison after killing two men just to watch them die" or . . . .
I was a quiet little church girl who sat with her family on the second pew of the right side of the church from birth till 2003 when we moved to FBC... then it was the second pew of the left side of the church.
It was on that second pew where God gently tugged at my heart. That second pew where I answered back with a quiet prayer of salvation and that second pew where I stood and walked, tears rolling down my cheek, to the front of the church and told the pastor I had excepted Christ to be my Savior.

It's nothing flashy but it gets me excited each time I think about it. When people ask me my story, that is the one I will tell them.

I was a sinner who needed Gods grace.
A sinner who knows the path of righteousness is narrow and without Gods direction would always go astray.
A sinner who desperately longs after her heavenly Father.
And a sinner who always desires His plan because it is far greater than any I could come up with on my own!

It has a beginning..
The rest is still unwritten.

2009-01-11T15:41:00.003-06:00

Sports teams in Phila this year are on fire! I obviously didn't mind it with the Phillies but I can't stand the Eagles! Oh well.. Congrats to them & Go Cards! lol

NFC Championship Game: Eagles at Cardinals, 3pm ET January 18, 2009

Mountain Dew =)

2009-01-05T18:24:00.006-06:00

How sweet would it be to have a never ending supply of Mountain Dew....?

My thoughts last night before going to sleep.. random much? lol

So, My new roommate called today. I missed her call but she called Mom and talked to her. She has the same last name as me. Yeah, totally sweet, right?! =)

I'm stoked about this semester starting! These next 6 days cannot pass any sooner!

I've been trying to spend as much time with Kris as I can lately 'cause Mom pulled me aside one day about a week ago and said she was having a hard time with the idea of me leaving. I'm not going to be like super far away but still..

I think all the extra time has been helpful and if not, then hey, it's always nice to spend time with family and make memories.

Speaking of memories.... Last night I was in the shower... wait, first I have to explain the layout of our house a little... Kristen's closet is like right next to the shower in the bathroom by her room. In other words, KPs room and closet are like an upside down "L" and with the bathroom it makes a complete rectangle. The short part of the "L" is where her closet is and the shower is on the other side of the wall dividing the two. Make sense? Hope so..

So, as I was saying.. I was in that shower last night while KP was cleaning her closet when out of no where she knocks on the wall. Why? I don't know. But it reminded me of when we were younger and she and I had rooms right next to one another. It was just after we moved into the house we are in now and it was the first time we had ever been in separate rooms.

One night after we had been sent to bed (and were supposed to be asleep lol) I hear this knock on the wall that divided our rooms.. So I go to the wall and knock back. Then I hear her whisper from the other side, "Sissy, are you awake?" lol "I can't sleep."

Somehow from there we came up with an idea to communicate to one another by knocking on the wall. One knock was A, two was B, three C, and so on till we got to E and realized it was lame and probably not going to work. lol

Mom came in to each of our rooms shortly after and tucked us back in and probably got on to us a little for being out of bed, I don't really remember.

I think I was about 7 or so when all this happened but I doubt I'll ever forget it. A few details may slip over time but that bonding I felt with Kris that night will probably (hopefully) stay with me till we're both old and gray. =)

It's funny how she and I have gotten so close in these past few years when, and you can ask anyone who knew us, we used to like HAAATE each other!! It wasn't actual hate we felt for one another but from the outside I'm sure it seemed that way. People told us it was just because we were siblings but I beg to differ. I think it was mostly that we were girls and less than a year apart. That in itself brought out the competitive nature in both of us. Plus we had, and for the most part still do, the same circle of friends. That didn't help much..

I don't buy the whole, "it's because you are siblings" thing for a second. Rick and I have been like best friends for as long as I can remember. I can count on my hands the times he and I fought.. So no, it's not simply because we are siblings.

Gee, why did I even get on this topic??? *sigh* I fear I'm going to miss my little sister more than I would like to admit to. Thank goodness for cell phones and the Internet!

The New Year---2009

2009-01-05T09:28:00.001-06:00

Hope it's a good one!

To whom it may concern

2008-12-29T00:10:00.002-06:00

Re: The person in Centereach, New York who came across my blog via a search of stethoscopes

Send me an email [Lparsons11@gmail.com] if you found the answer you were looking for. Also, if you invested in the Littmann I'd like to know what opinions you now have of it.

Thanks

2008-12-25T16:08:00.000-06:00

Ooohhh Fuuudddge!

2008-12-24T16:28:00.003-06:00

24 hours of A Christmas Story is like my second favorite part of Christmas, for sure!! Does it get much better?? =)

2008-12-22T17:56:00.004-06:00

Donna: Daddy, do you wanna go with me to take this candy tray to the neighbors?

Pop: Nope

Donna: Well, if we don't take it to them they will just come here.

Pop: Oh, right.

lol I love those two!

Kris: Man, I'm never gonna get to eat!

Donna: Hey, that's the life of a woman!

hehe ;)

Donna: Here's a recipe that calls for 9 eggs!

Me: Wow, that's over half a dozen!!

Donna: Uh, yeah Lauren! Duh!

Kris: Yeah, thank you Jordan Beard for clearing that one up for us!

.....hmm

this is such a friggin turn on, seriously.

2008-12-21T15:23:00.000-06:00

If you really, really love me......

You'd get me this for Christmas ;)

Review Model 4100WS

3M Littmann Electronic Stethoscope Model 4100WS Technology advanced electronic stethoscope with sound analysis software offers amplification up to eighteen times greater than the best conventional Littmann stethoscopes. Superior acoustics combined with digital signal processing -- offering recording, storage and playback capabilities. Recorded sounds can be downloaded to an IBM-compatible computer and replayed allowing you to see, on the computer screen, exactly what you are hearing. Three frequency response modes - bell , diaphragm , and extended range . LCD display in chestpiece, including heart rate readout. Twenty hours of continuous use from two AAA alkaline batteries . Excellent acoustic seal and comfortable fit with patented 3M Littmann Snap-Tight Soft-Sealing Eartips. Comfortably angled, anatomically correct headset. Patient friendly, nonchill rim. Chestpiece sized for adult or pediatric patients.

------------

The new Littmann® Electronic Stethoscope Model 4100WS has the same functions as the Model 4000WS, but with one significant difference; the Model 4100WS now incorporates 3M's new Ambient Noise Reduction technology.

This technology reduces distracting room noise by an average of 75% (-12dB) over the bell and diaphragm operating range. This stethoscope is uniquely equipped to help you pick up difficult-to-hear heart, lung and other body sounds even when the world around you is filled with distracting noise.

How Ambient Noise Reduction (ANR) works:

The proprietary Ambient Noise Reduction technology internal to the chestpiece, acoustically cancels out an average of 75% of distracting room noise, greatly enhancing overall utility. This acoustic effect is different from electronic filtering, which may also filter out some portions of body sounds clinicians need to hear.

For now, I am here.

2008-12-21T06:26:00.007-06:00

Why is love only talked about in a marriage standpoint? Or a better questions would be why the explanation of marriage is the only answer people can give me when asked to describe love....

Is that really the only time you can show or experience true, Godly, unconditional love?

I've been thinking a lot about love lately mostly because the biggest example I had in regards to that characteristic came from my grandmother and she is now gone. In leaving this Earth I no longer have that constant example to look to when I need answers or examples of how to react to things. Thus, I'm left to figure out what she knew in order for me to continue on. (I'm guessing that made little sense....)

I'm trying to figure out what she knew to make her the woman she was. I want to know so I too can use the knowledge she possessed. I would like to think I am capable of loving unconditionally but do I? I would like to. I think it is necessary and something worth more than I realize at this point.

In search for my answers I've discovered, according to the world I apparently don't know how to love...or can't yet because so far I've found the only way to show love in the manner I am referring to is within the bonds of marriage of which do not currently exist in my life. This is the worlds way of seeing things though.....

I think going beyond what the world thinks of love would be best. And to go beyond the idea of love I've created on my own and to the love God would have me experience and show I think would be even better.

It is truly amazing how my Lord works. I embarked on this seemingly endless exodus for the meaning of love and just when I was about ready to say forget it, I'll finish this later God sent me this friend that wanted to talk about love too. I have no doubt in my mind that this was God's plan and I am grateful and more than willing to give Him the praise for it.

I want to know the real meaning of love and not so much the meaning of love in a romantic way. . . That will come in time but for now it's not the kind of love I want to know inside and out.

I can't wait to finish school so I can travel the world. But I think I need to understand 'love' before that can happen. I don't want to just travel for pleasure. I want it to have a purpose. A purpose that can only exist after the meaning of love is discovered I'm afraid.
I have no doubt that God will give me the understanding I need.

I want to do more than just exist on this Earth. I want to save the world from itself or.....or....I don't know. I don't want to go down in history or anything like that. I just want to do....something. Something with meaning, purpose, depth....just, something. Something more than what I am currently doing.
It's not that I'm bored and want to just spice things up. It's not that at all.
I just feel this strong, indisputable desire to go out and do something worth while.

Enough talk and idle thoughts of some grandiose future---I want to go explore the world and be humbled by my discoveries. I want to share what I've learned and be used to start a revolution unlike any other. I want to do something!!
And I will.
But I need to discover the meaning of love before that can take place.
For now I'm stuck in classrooms and burdened with talk and thoughts. Soon my time will come and I will gladly go but for now, I am here. And I should desire to be here for no other reason than because it is exactly where I need to be.

Lord, give me understanding. Let me be humbled before You and desire to seek Your Will for my future. Lord create in me the ability to wait but not be idle in my waiting.

2008-12-20T08:28:00.002-06:00

Trev: Get your gun we're going huntin'

Me: Oh? And what are we hunting this time?

Trev: Ducks and baby deer.

[pause]

Trev: ::rolls eyes dramatically:: Don't worry, it's not for real. You have to pretend with me.

Me: Ahh, I see.

Trev: And we aren't shooting any baby deer. I'm going to rope them and give them to you for pets. Now, look in the sky and yell at me to fire if you see any ducks fly by, okay?

Trev: So here's what we're gonna do..... I'm going to the store to get my girlfriend a present then we're gonna sneak into her room and I'm going to give it to her while she's sleeping. You have to be very, very quiet. This is a surprise.

Me: Of course.

[we sneak into Tresa room with his present]

Trev: I'm going to give her a kiss, okay?

[I suppress my laughter]

Me: Okay, that's really sweet.

Trev: Yeah, I'm a good boyfriend to her cause she's a good girlfriend.

[again I fight the urge to giggle at his cuteness]

Trev: Okay, we can go now but don't wake her up on your way out. She is going to be so surprised when she sees I was here.

[in the car on the way home from school]

Trev: It's almost Christmas, did you know that?

Me: mhmm, are you excited?

Trev: yes ma'am, I wish it were Christmas everyday.

Me: Oh really? Why is that?

Trev: Cause Christmas is Jesus' birthday.

Isn't he adorable?? :]

Clear nights and open roads

2008-12-19T01:24:00.003-06:00

Today was a great day. Why? Because I learned a little and grew some as well.

I went with mother to Tyler as soon as Kris left for a day full of pushing her mind and expanding her realm of knowledge.....oh wait, she goes to public school so I really doubt any of that actually happened. :sigh:

I got some new toys from Best Buy and mom did a little Christmas shopping for everyone. It was fantastic.

Afterwards I had to pick T-man up from school (not public...stories are soon to come that will explain further why I despise public school) then take him home till Tres or Trey got there.

So I take mom home, help her get everything out of the car, straighten up the house a bit, then pick up Trev. From the time he got in the car until I left him a few hours later he was a non-stop fountain of knowledge. It was....well, fun. I honestly enjoyed every second of listening to him spout out the things he's learned recently in preschool. Heck, at one point during a movie we were all watching Tresa asked, "I wonder if this could actually happen in real life? That would be really cool."

His response, "No! Duh! This movie is fiction!"

[pause]

Tres and I looked at each other.....

[pause]

Then we looked at Trev.....

He's THREE!! lol

This kid amazes me to no end! Seeing what having a 2:6 ratio of teachers to students has done for him has really further encouraged me to homeschool my kids (should I ever have any). But my breaking point came this afternoon....

The final brick in the wall that I've been slowly building over the years around my public and homeschool beliefs.....

Kris sent a twitter after one of her finals today that said, "English test was easy cheesy! We got to use our quizzes...guess what? The test WAS our quizzes!!"

How freakin pathetic?? She didn't have to study a darn thing. No research. No effort. Nothing. She walks away with nothing.

I've had it both ways and I believe without a doubt homeschool is better.

So then comes the argument: "Homeschooling your children makes them unsocialized!" Uhm, for starters...have you even looked up the word "unsocialized"? Yeah, didn't think so. Secondly, I know plenty of homeschooled children that are perfectly well rounded and fit in just fine. I feel as though socializing is something the parents should emphasize and teach. Set up play dates at a young age, encourage your child to be social. It's a learned process just like most others.
And the second verse to that same song could very easily be summed up in two simple words...Tim Tebow . Yes, Tim Tebow, QB for the Florida Gators. He was homeschooled and look at his life now. (Google him if you don't know his story)

Why am I even arguing this point? eh, I don't know.
Moving on..

So, to the point.. After leaving Trev's house I concluded I had very little desire to be home so soon so I drove around town looking for something to do. After realizing what a sucker I was for thinking there would actually be something to do in Rusk, I stopped my search and ended up just driving around aimlessly. But even that got boring so I raised the stakes a little. I was already headed to Alto, unaware of the fact I do believe, so when I saw the sign to Linwood I formed an idea. First, let me explain something.... I've never successfully driven in the dark by myself through the path I'm about to take. The path you ask? From 69 headed to Alto, through Linwood, then through Atoy and back to Rusk. I am forever getting lost! I know, to most it seems like a simple route but without fail, I get lost every time I try.

So, I've got the sun roof open and Wisin & Yandel turned up, it's just me and the open road. What a rush. Okay, not so much on this journey (due to external factors, namely: mom and my intense fear of my actions causing her to worry).

Long story shorter since I no longer have any interest whatsoever in this post, I made it home safe and sound. Boring right? yeah, I agree. So let me tell you the good part then be done with this.

On the way home I had been trying to send a text to an out of state friend of mine but being that I was still driving in the middle of no where, I had absolutely no service. Also, in build up to the short story, I'd like you to factor that after all the driving around I did pre-Linwood, it's been close to 35 mins since I left t-man and Tresa's house (about 10-15 mins away from my home) and Mom knew that. I knew she would be concerned and that was something I tried to avoid when at all possible.

Here I am in the middle of basically nowhere with no usable cell phone and the thought of a worrying mother at home, coupled with having to fight the urge to drive faster not only for the rush but to get home (or somewhere with service) so I could ease my mothers mind....

That of course takes the fun out of my clear night and open roads.

But then out of nowhere I hear that gay noise my phone makes when I get a text.... pleasantly surprised I look down at the phone sitting in my lap to make sure it hadn't just been wishful thinking. Nope. 1 New Message.

Mom sent me a message at the exact time I had enough service to receive it. (I know because I checked the time stamp on the message to make sure she hadn't sent it half an hour before and been worrying ever since) The message said, "You left at 5:45. Where are you? Im worried." Classic mom.

So I responded with a quick (since I'm on 343 at this point) "Im fine"

"k. wanted to make sure you werent in a ditch" Again, classic mom.

"nope"

"Okay then, back to my Tyler" (she was watching UNC)

And I was back to enjoying the open roads.

As soon as I finished reading mom's last message I went to my text I had been trying to send since I set out on this (now seemingly pointless) journey and pushed resend. As luck would have it I no longer had service.

Funny thing is, I no longer cared. I was in the middle of a valley , with dense woods on either side of me when I got that message from mom. There is no logical reason I should have had service---none. But then again, who needs logic when you have faith. ;)

Coincidence? Luck? Call it what you want, I say I have an amazing God who is mindful of what's going on--always.

Glenn Beck was rockin!

2008-12-14T18:22:00.005-06:00

I FINALLY got to meet Glenn! I've listened to him since I was 16 and wanted to meet him shortly after having realized how awesome he was. I honestly can't believe it finally happened!

As most of you know, Mom was having surgery that same day so I wasn't sure how it was all going to work out. We had to be at the hospital around 7:30 Thursday and the surgery was scheduled for 9. It was an hour and a half procedure and the recovery that was soon to follow could have lasted anywhere from 30 minutes to the following day... so we were told. It would just depend on how Mom responded to everything. A few summers ago when she went under for gastrointestinal stuff it took 3 hrs for her to recover from the anesthesia but we were all (esp me) hoping it wouldn't take that long this time..

Long story shorter, Dr. Duncan finished 30 minutes early but the recovery time ended up taking muuucch longer than we hoped. . .

We didn't leave the hospital until 4:15. . .

Glenn was scheduled to be at Hastings at 5. . .

I had a problem.

In hindsight it was no big deal. I had to wait a lot longer in line then I would have liked but in the end, it was more than worth it. This guy behind us in line, Joel, told us he was one of the first people in line but had been there since 1:30... He had got back in line with his friend after Glenn had already signed his book. (he was on KETK too! That was fun.)

There were hundreds of [the nicest] people there along with David Smoak (I will never get over how young he looks! lol Hes almost 50 but he looks like he's just in his late 30s) and KTBB who was doing promotional stuff and passing out food and whatnot.

I was surprised when it was my turn to have Glenn sign my book, at how soft his hands were. lol

And he had the warmest smile! He looked down at my Border Patrol shirt (surprisingly I didn't see many people there wearing any of his merchandise) then reached out his hand, smiled and said thank you. I'm not even sure if I said anything back.. lol between the surprisingly soft hands, the gentle smile and the fact that I had just met Glenn...my brain was kinda like on auto-pilot I think.

It was too busy in there for a conversation or anything but I hope I at least said your welcome or thank you or SOMETHING back! lol

There was a guy from the Beck Team that said he could sign 600 books in an hour.

and I'm guessing this is why! lol

Afterwards I took some more pics then went to grab a bite to eat and finally, after having been up since 4AM.... I went home for some much needed sleep!

I was out in minutes!

If Words. Part II had been written....

2008-12-12T17:49:00.001-06:00

this might be what it would have said.....

http://blog.usa.gov/roller/govgab/entry/holiday_greetings_for_the_troops

Glenn is better than crack!

2008-12-10T13:54:00.014-06:00

In one day and 3-ish hours I will be standing in the same room as this guy here-->

I'M STOKED! I've wanted to meet him since I was like 16! And I can't believe I actually get to in less than two days. It's fantastic.

This is what I'll be wearing.... His fundraiser shirt for Agents Ramos and Compean

and I'll have him sign this....

pics from last night

2008-12-10T11:56:00.006-06:00

Look what happened!!!!

I got my snow!!! =)

It only lasted about 10 minutes and nothing stuck to the ground, but it's still snow and much better than nothing!

The flash on my camera really made it show up well! =)
I was so pleased!

Watch it, you know you want to...

2008-12-09T03:25:00.004-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErzbEHgJcq0&eurl=http://www.cgblog.org/2008/12/coming-soon-to-tv-near-you.html&feature=player_embedded

This show is gonna be fantastic! Just what I need too.... another show to record every week. (note the sarcasm) Honestly though, I really am kinda excited about it and I know Rick is too cause of the Coast Guard! lol

Joy beyond words

2008-12-08T14:00:00.003-06:00

I am simply overwhelmed by grace. By joy. By rest.

Today is a day of rejoicing! I am free in Jesus because he broke me. It took so long, too long, for me to get to this place. But I am here. Only because of Jesus.

I have been searching for contentment for a long time. It seemed like I was drowning while waiting for true joy, but I didn't fervently try to rise above the waves. Honestly, I've been comfortable in this somewhat melancholy and mediocre life I've been living for the past year. God has been drawing me to something bigger, but I didn't fully accept His offering. So I held onto some walls that were between God and I. I hid behind them, I painted them, made them look pretty good, but they were still solid walls. Jesus loved me fiercely and challenged me during this time, but I still didn't rest in His ideas of joy.

As I began to face these barriers between Jesus and I, my heart started to soften. I was realizing the extent of my selfishness. I was clearly seeing the "stuff" I needed to give completely to God. And then today, oh what a day, it happened. I was quiet...finally, quiet. I knew that I was ready to change my attitude and my focus. So, as simple as it sounds, I did. God took all the junk that's been clouding my image of him, put it out of my hands, and I finally let him.

I can't get over this joy! I'd been begging God for joy, asking others to do the same for me. But today was different because I let go of fear...of control. Wow!!! I am here, Jesus. I'm here, content and ready for You. I sensed You were preparing me for something this year, and I now understand your faithfulness so much more. Even if this understanding of joy is Your big thing, that's more than enough. But God, if You want more of me, challenge me. I'm ready, willing, and excited about this new-found, newly-understood part of who You are. Teach me to love like You love and to want what You want. I am amazed by You.

With a title like "Count It All Joy," I wanted to sing its truth last night, but I couldn't yet. Then today, after spending time with Jesus, I began to hum this song. We are burdened, broken people. We are undeserving. We are beautiful because of Jesus. Let's count it all joy. Joy, joy, joy! Thank you, Jesus. You are the giver and maker of joy.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

2008-12-07T01:30:00.004-06:00

The day is cloudy and the wind is bold. Dress up warmly, you mustn't get cold!

Put on your coat and zip it up tight, put on your left boot, put on your right.

Put on your scarf and put on your hat, put on your mittens and clap-clap-clap!

Go outside and play and play. Come in again, and then we'll say-

Take off your coat that was zipped up tight,

take off your left boot, take off your right.

Take off your scarf, take off your hat,

take off your mittens, and then take a nap!

I sure do wish it would snow here!!!!

I'm so jealous when it gets to the part where the guy is jumping in the huge piles of untouched, powdery snow!!! No fair!!

[[Watch the video]]

SNOW, SNOW, SNOW!!!!

Father-- you know best!

2008-12-03T03:07:00.006-06:00

I won't write too much, being that it's late and tomorrow's a big day, but I do want to document something God did in my heart tonight.
We serve a gracious, loving, empowering Father. After hearing mom replay what had happened today in her doctor visit I realized tomorrows plans I had made would have to be put off or cancelled completely, pushing me even further behind. I was feeling anxious and disappointed and then really, really down on myself because I hadn't been more content with the change for the sake of my mother. Selfishness is something I've been really struggling with lately and once again I had let it win.
After that, I felt God's push for me to go spend some alone time with Him. More desperate for Him than ever before, I went to my room, spread my Bible and journal out before me, and waited. Come on God I thought. Just speak to me, tell me what you want from me. As I should have known, it wasn't that easy, and I praise God for stretching me.
Sitting with God, seeking Him in his word, and resting before Him was just what he wanted from me. It was so simple! I have been trying so diligently to figure out what I've been missing, and God had been asking me to just rest. He wants me to just rest before Him, get away from myself, and focus on Him. Tonight, as a result, I am choosing to rest, pursue God, and stop thinking so much about myself. How do I stop this prideful habit of putting me before all else? I'm making it a daily prayer, asking others to keep me accountable, and practicing writing about anyone but myself. He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.

What can I give Him?

2008-12-03T02:51:00.002-06:00

What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a wise man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

These words are simply amazing. I have to say that this song is my favorite at Christmas. I love the praise it gives Jesus, and still, it challenges me to be humble before Him. I've been battling with a lot lately; a lot of inner pain and discontent. I realized how little I was trusting Jesus and how little time I'd been spending with Him. And then, I discovered how great my doubt had become. I was no longer seeing Jesus in His majesty. As God began to soften my heart and reveal this to me, He reminded me of this song, In The Bleak Midwinter. I am so in awe of how God knows me. He is this powerful, beautiful King, yet He wants me to sit with Him as His child. Wow. Oh man, I still have so much to learn.

And today, I have been physically stretched. My body is exhausted, but I am completely content. Maybe it's the joys of Christmas, the decorations popping up everywhere, carols filling my room, the bite in the crisp winter air. Or maybe it's the hope of Jesus, a man humbly entering earth as a baby and holding His sovereignty at the same time. I love this Jesus of ours. He is good. So good. And He gives us rest. He gives us joy! He gives us people to love us, challenge, and enjoy us. Thanks for this time of year, Jesus. I love the simple joys of Christmas, but mostly, I love better understanding Your love for me.

Resting in Him

2008-12-03T02:18:00.000-06:00

These last few days have been very emotional for me. Things are changing all around me: family, friends, passions, etc. and I'm just drained. Within all this, though, I have so enjoyed seeing God carry me. He is sparking little fireworks inside me-love for people, love for rest, and combining the two. I'm so ready to move in January. I will soon be livinging in an environment where my comfort level will drop dramatically, and I cannot wait. I know how good God is. He loves me and wants to spend time with me. Man, I love that. So, I'm tired; physically, emotionally, mentally. But I'm resting in Him. And it's so good.

Quick update

2008-12-02T15:13:00.002-06:00

I wish I had a good book to read. Why you ask? Well, Mom is back in the hospital and books are always come in handy when youre waiting on results and whatnot. Lots of problems this time, none of which I could give justice in explaining with the time I have to write this.
I'll update better when I have more time.

I finished The Christmas Sweater a few days ago and I must say, even with the expectations I had given it, it was still 1ooo times better than I thought it would be. I'm anticipating meeting Glenn even more now and cannot wait to see The Christmas Sweater- ENCORE in a few weeks!

I worked with Jacob and Jared all day today and it was awesome! Gosh I love those kids! And it's not just those two, it's the entire school setting that I just can't get enough of! When we were letting the kids go to their buses at the end of the day this little boy came up to me and gave me this snowflake I had watched him make. It was so adorable!
I passed one of the teachers in the hall after I dropped the kids off at lunch and she smiled and said she was glad I was feeling better ( I didn't even know she knew I was sick). That totally made my day... or helped make it. The entire day was just amazing. This is like the greatest job in the whole entire world. I'm convinced of this and you would be hard pressed to make me feel otherwise.

Anyway, I've got to get to the hospital. Mom is over there alone and I don't like that (I'm sure she doesn't either).
Catch me on Twitter later for quick updates.

~LaurenNicole

yes, yet another poem

2008-12-02T01:09:00.003-06:00

Those Nights

Sometimes
My mind
Races faster than my pen
I could write the greatest poem
The world has ever known
If only
My fingers
Were faster
Fast enough
To catch the thoughts as they come
My pen in rhythm
With the beats
Of my heart
My overflowing
Heart
Pouring out emotion
Faster than my pen can set it down
The ink flows like blood
Coursing with feeling
Not flowing fast enough
Before emotions
Are lost
They pass
Unwritten
Those are the nights
I feel I could write
Something
Something that is
A good poem
A great poem
Something that is great
Yes
Tonight
Is not one of those nights
It is one of those
Other nights
The pen
Is heavy
And slow
And every
Word
Is a labor
My pen would love to race on
If the ink starts flowing
Let it flow
But
My mind
Misfires
Thoughts come too slow too
Lines are disjointed
I wonder why
What
Ramble, ramble, ramble
The writing continues
But the words mean nothing
I'm rolling a ball up a hill
To see it roll behind me
The ink
Dries up
Waiting for a thought
Dries
Like a wound
That's when it really hurts
Still the poem tries
Even though its dying
Slowly
With sporadic
Breaths
That are so painful
Stumbling
Yes
This is one of those nights.

Another poem

2008-12-02T00:52:00.002-06:00

My foot rests on the brake
Hands tightly grip the wheel
Reluctantly, I release
My foot flinches to the right-
ready, but scared
It puts pressure on the gas
and I am moving forward

Steadily, I flow into a world unknown to this heart
The complete sense of peace overwhelms my smile

Peace
Joy
Rest
All I have sought,
yet never before enjoyed this much
Leaves dance around swaying trees
Sondre soothes my ears
This is bliss

There was no plan-
no premeditation-
no goal
Just foot to pedal
Foot to pedal
And I was off
Onto a road of joy
of rest and of peace

You are the greatest Giver
The greatest Mover
Thank You

2008-12-02T00:10:00.002-06:00

An Untitled Poem

Hold my hand
Grab it in yours and lead me
Take me through the woods
Through the trees
The falling leaves
Through the darkness

Apart from you
I stumble
I run aimlessly
Through trees
Through the falling leaves
Through the darkness
I long to follow
I trip
I get lost
You hold my hand
Even in my weakness
You intertwine my fingers in yours
Squeeze tightly
Warmth fills my body

I had to reach for that hand, though
You offered-
I grabbed, accepted
Pursuing your hand
Your heart
I want to know
And follow hard after you

Forgive my wandering heart
My hand that seeks another
In my self-love
I have become lost

Become greater
Make me less

Hold my hand, dear Jesus
My Romancer
And Pursuer
Leader
I will follow
I want
to want
to follow
And run after you

Cherish these days

2008-11-28T03:06:00.011-06:00

Today I spent time with family and enjoyed it immensely. Tears were shed over loved ones not with us today that were with us this time last year. Tears were also shed over those who had, with welcoming arms, rejoined us after many years of branching out.

Holidays are great aren't they? I think in the end everyone gets what they want. Or maybe not so much what they want but what they need--- whether they realize it's needed or not.

I was hit these past few days with what I like to call "Holiday Syndrome". That warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you see family gathered together, sharing laughs, creating memories. It's something that hits very rarely and when it does you want to hold on to it as long as possible. I've got it still, as you'll easily be able to tell from this post. =)

Family comes in many different packages. Not everyone likes or appreciates the package they are given and it's a shame.

Others see what they have and hold tight to it.

Family is a gift. Family can be born to one another or through a system, be joined together. Either way, family is something to be thankful for.

The people you surround yourself with when you achieve greatness or the when you fail, they are the people who mean the most. Often times it's family or an even more unique type of family--- someone you've grown so close to you welcome them as one of the family.

Days like Thanksgiving are great days for families. We come in from near and far to join together and appreciate one another. The memories you make on days like today are ones you carry with you, tucked deep inside yet easily accessible, for years to come. The laughter that fills the house during the holidays, lingers in your ears long after the decibels drop. These days, the holidays, are special days.

In the beginning, there were traditions. Not really but then again---who knows?

Holidays, namely Thanksgiving, are great for sports traditions that unite the family even when they are divided. Everyone gathers 'round to cheer and talk smack, each person trying to out do the other with the level of stats they know (no one tops me though ;) hehe)

Holiday traditions don't stop and end with sports.

Traditions can be something as simple as Aunt Tif making the banana pudding every year *cough cough*, knowing Granddaddy will be asleep in seconds, Mom's pumpkin pies made just for Uncle Marty, Aunt Becky's broccoli and rice or Julies banana split cake. The little things that get the family talking ahead of time; anticipating what's to come.

After the food though, it's always the same. ;) We all gather around for the Cowboys game. (How awesome was Jason today btw?! For a dude with messed up ribs he looked pretty darn good out there!!)

I think I'm getting waaayy off topic ('cause like always, I wanted to talk about my 'Boys hehe). The point is, enjoy the holidays for what they are. This is a great chance to catch up with family and family is (should be) a huge part of your life. Whether you live in the same house as them or if you're an entire country apart--- Cherish your family during the holidays. And of course pick up a phone or send a card or an email to those who can't, for whatever reason, be with you to share this special day. Holidays can be tough when you're away from loved ones but they can be made easier by doing even the littlest of things!

Happy Thanksgiving!

~LaurenNicole

Words. Part II

2008-11-25T23:46:00.002-06:00

I am NOT going to write a part II to Words. Period.

(hopefully saying that will take some pressure off writing it and I'll be able to actually finish it.......)
Now that my strep throat has pretty much gone away and my body doesn't feel so yuckie.... we'll see what happens with Words.

~LaurenNicole

Words. Part II coming soon! You don't want to miss it!

2008-11-22T01:06:00.005-06:00

My Lord works in amazing ways, that's for sure! In this case I'm making reference to this Friday night (last night) when I was laying in bed writing out an outline for my next post (a follow up to Words.) It's something I've been praying about 'cause I wanted it to be perfect by His standards and I know asking for His help (and accepting it) is the only way for that.
I had a general idea of what needed to be said but so far no actual words were coming together. That is, until I decided to give the writing a rest for a while and go online for a bit. Out of habit I went straight to my email where, aside from the now 412 Spam messages I had in my Spam folder (gr!), I had a new email from my cousin Kimmy Jo (who btw, I miss dearly!! She is such a joy to be around!). I read it and was blown away by how perfect it was for my new post!! Such an unexpected answer for my prayers!
I've just spent the last few minutes thanking Him for his answer and now I'm working on getting Words. Part II finished for yall. So, keep an eye out for it in the days ahead. I'm not feeling well still or I'd have it all finished in a few hours or so.
There is a lot to be said and I hope it's received the way it needs to be. No, I don't "hope", I've been tending the fields expecting God to send the rain because I have faith and I know it will come! There is no more hoping with this one. I'm excited about how this is coming together! And I cannot wait to see what greatness echoes out from it!! =)

I've got chills and not the good kind

2008-11-20T23:40:00.005-06:00

I'm just going to get it out of the way first:
I'm sick. And we're talking major bodily pain here. ugh! Fever, chills, pain-- the works!
I wish my mommy were still awake 'cause even though there is nothing she can actually do to make me better she can, with her words, do wonders that no doctor could ever come close to doing.

Owww!!! =( I'm trying hard not to cry right now. Why am I still typing, prolonging my agony, and not in bed now? Good question.
Oh wait, maybe the answer is somewhere in this novel's worth of things that needed to be done like, yesterday. . .
This fast-paced, deadline driven society is getting old--fast!
I just want my mommy.

Now then, with that aside let me get on to the short and long of this post. . . . hmm, what was it again I was going to talk ab.... oh yes! (told you I felt bad! I honestly can't even think clearly) I need a trumpet asap. A silver Bb Bach would be fantastic but at this point I hate to be picky.
Why do I need a trumpet, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked. See in a few short days I, Lauren Nicole, will be auditioning to play for JBC's choir/ensemble!! You can't tell it now because I feel so awful, but I'm totally stoked about it!
I'm not even sure how it all came about but I went to get the Spring schedule from JBC and that somehow led to me talking to Bro Orr about playing under G-Robb which (long story short) led to him telling me to call and schedule an appointment to work with him on some of the music they are working on.

Enough for now. My head is feeling all fuzzy again and I can tell my sentence structure is slipping, sorry. I'll edit this later. I just wanted to keep my non-local friends updated. Of course if you'd all just get on Twitter this kind of blog post could become a thing of the past. . . ;) jk, I don't mind one bit.

What will you decide to be swept away with?

2008-11-20T09:18:00.002-06:00

Isaiah 5:20-23 (NASB)

20 Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!
21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes And clever in their own sight!
22 Woe to those who are heroes in drinking wine And valiant men in mixing strong drink,
23 Who justify the wicked for a bribe, And take away the rights of the ones who are in the right!

Time changes so many things. For instance, in 1950 a person could have been asked the question, "How important is it to know the difference between right and wrong?" and the response could have sounded something like this: "Knowing the difference between right and wrong is foundational for all people in society. Without it there would be chaos!"
There would have been no question as to whose definition would be used to determine right and wrong, most people understood or at least agreed on what was acceptable and what was not.

That's not the world we live in anymore, is it? In fact, if we asked the same question to high school students today, their response would most likely begin with a qualification of terms: "Whose standard of right and wrong are we talking about?" This is the byproduct of a worldview which owns no absolutes. And given the human tendency to justify actions rather than change, we have only begun to see the extremes to which human depravity can go.

The Bible is clear that discerning between right and wrong is important, but only as God is our standard. We are seeing the realization of Isaiah's prophecy being lived out before us, "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!"
We as Christians must struggle against the tide which is building momentum in our world. We must embrace the truth of Scripture and the instruction God gives us to be people of light. For, submitting ourselves to God's high moral standard is not the absence of sophistication as some would say, it is the presence of wisdom! Stand up for Truth, or you will be swept away with the teachings of the world.

Sleep.

2008-11-18T22:22:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I think I get anxious for the sake of getting worked up over something. Anything. I'm constantly reminding myself that it's not the end of the world. Maybe it's the standard I hold for myself. Maybe it's the short term sight into the future, or I should say the inability to grasp the big picture that is life. At the same time, that's what makes life beautiful, and it helps remind me not to fuss about the little things or fall apart with the "big" things.

These thoughts are usually what makes up my nightly routine of calming down in order for me to fall asleep. I find myself in this mix of being excited, worried, sad, and content amongst other things, and it's hard to regulate it all in order for me to fall asleep because it all hits me at critical mass around now. I've found that breathing and praying really help tremendously, but I've found the best way to fall asleep is to tell myself, "Be happy you're in bed right now," because there are so many comforting pros to it.

I'm alone in the sense that no one is bothering me, hurting me, asking anything of me, or stressing me out.
I'm comfortable.
I'm not working.
I'm not running late to work, or any scheduled appointment.
It's as if I've entered a safe zone where nothing can affect me in any way. With that, I'm heading to bed.

Words.

2008-11-18T18:36:00.001-06:00

They're the most peculiar form of communication. There can be so much meaning behind them, but that so much meaning can be lost if a person is lacking in the mind or having a hardened heart. Words can save lives, but untrained ears can cause endless sorrow and trouble on both ends. Words can be the most beautiful sight if the eye is able to seek and find.

What will always make me distraught yet depressed is, to some, words hold only simple definitions if that. Sometimes I feel I will never be heard, seen, felt, or known by some whom were most important, and by that, reasoning behind their importance will be unknown to them but not lost. It still remains in me, but without the means of escaping into their being.

Perhaps one day my words will travel across oceans, but now they don't seem to travel farther than my doorstep, much less do I feel the urge to throw them any farther, which could be the problem within itself. Maybe one day some words will be revealed to me and my importance will be discovered. Maybe that will give me the strength to give the words to those whom were once important, whom could be important once again.

Thoughts. 100% random of course

2008-11-18T18:21:00.015-06:00

-The holiday season is fast approaching and I can't wait! I have SO many recipes I am anxious to try out. Assuming I don't have plans arise this weekend I intend on baking a little for Aunt Becky and Granddaddy.

-Glenn Beck is going to be in Tyler soon and I'm getting pretty excited about that as well. I learned today that The Christmas Sweater- ENCORE is going to be playing in Lufkin on the 18th and you can bet your lucky boots that I'll be there!

-Loud noises have started to bother me. I think it comes from being home alone so often. The same thing happened when I first started homeschooling (going from being around an entire school full of crazy youngsters to being at home in a comfortable, small-ish environment) I was in Wal-Mart the other night just wasting time before getting mom from the doctor and I was wearing Bryans Army shirt... someone dropped something behind me and after I reacted the guy next to me said, "Wow, you must have thought it was a bomb or something, huh?" I was like, huh?? But then I put it all together and corrected him.

-Metallica is going to be in Houston in two days. I thought I might get to go but plans have changed (namely, I have to work...bummer)

-The family Christmas trip is just around the corner and I'm stoked... not really but I keep hoping that if I tell myself enough then I will start to actually get a little excited. The family is going to be shopping and I'll be finishing up my cpr/first aid training (psh. like it's ever really "finished".. there is always more you can learn! I'm a firm believer in that)
I'm looking forward to it but more so than that is the Stars game that night that I will most definitely be at!! Stars-Sharks, it's going to be fantastic!

-When I run in the mornings I turn on the ol' iPod and indulge my senses with a little Run to Cadence with the Navy SEALs..... my favorite being Running Through the Jungles and Hey There Ladies hahaha I always crack up when the latter one starts playing... its just too cute! I think I've told this story before but to ensure you understand why it is I'm listening to a bunch of Navy SEALs chant to one another I'll tell it again.
When I was living at Sandra's last year I plugged my iPod into the computer in the hall cause Maegan had my laptop (I have programs created/installed that she needed and didn't have on hers). All I planned on doing was let it charge overnight so I'd have something to listen to on the way to Round Rock for one of Caleb's Jui-Jitsu tournaments.... but the stupid thing automatically deleted all my music and added Caleb and Ryan's even though I told it not to! And me, not having my own computer could do nothing at the time to regain my own sweet melodies.... I was pretty ticked too cause I had just added the new Demon Hunter CD and I was justifiably stoked I was going to have hours to listen to it uninterrupted!! Nevertheless, I explored Caleb's playlists during the journey and was rather pleased with his taste. All that to say, one morning I was running and listening to songs randomly and one if the cadences started playing and I LOVED it! =) Now thats pretty much all I listen to when I work out. Unless, like lately, I've had a craving for Metallica...

It has been recently drawn to my attention that I have a problem with saying good-bye.
But alas, the time has come for yet another good-bye and like always I am hesitant, fearing something has been left unsaid without hope of being brought up again. Strange, I know. It's like all things cease to exsist after the words are issued.

Good-bye for now?
~LaurenNicole

Wrapping up of the second half of 2008

2008-11-18T14:41:00.008-06:00

Summer is long gone and the Fall, though having just started to show signs of entering Texas, is drawing to an end as well.. kind of.
It's almost time to start making arrangements for the Spring semester and I couldn't be more pleased with how everything is working out. Life is good. Yes, I lost a friend last week and that's still very fresh on my mind but other than that, life is good and foolish though it may be to suggest, I feel there is very little that could create in me a greater sense of pleasure and contentedness then I have now.

The year isn't totally over yet, but like I said, it's drawing near. I definitely have some things to go through before all is said and done and school starts back up again. How do I feel about the second half of this year? About everything? There are so many mixed feelings. This summer has been one that has tested my thoughts, my beliefs and faith, my ideals, my strengths and weaknesses, my mind, and most importantly my heart. I don't believe there is a word in the English language that could possibly explain how I feel about my Summer, but I can say that I'm breathing, that I'm smiling, that I'm doing my best, and I still have faith, love and family. That's all anyone could really ask for isn't it?
The Fall has proven tricky with Bryan being deployed and school not going the way I would have liked it to but still, I've experienced blessings I didn't even come close to deserving, grown in ways I never thought I would and loved stronger than ever before so, even if I had the least desire, I can't complain.

So tell me, what the heck is Twitter?

2008-11-18T12:56:00.004-06:00

"So what is Twitter?"

More or less it's a much more interactive form of universal mass text (and can also be used to update your Facebook status. I've never used it that way but I'll give details later on), and it's really making some changes in the way we get our news and interact with people. Twitter has been used as a search and rescue tool during hurricanes and earthquakes, and it's been used to get breaking news out faster than any other outlet of information. It bailed a college student out of jail while traveling abroad (alone) and has started viral internet phenomenons (like Sarah Palin "Little Known Facts"). I takes a little time but you can see from my side column >>> how much fun Twitter can be if you get to using it.

"How does it work?"

First off, go to http://www.twitter.com and make an account. Of course after that, everything seems a bit taunting. You don't have any followers, you're not really following anyone, but don't fret. First off you can follow me (Lauren42 is my username), and then check out some of the people I'm following.

There are many people to choose from like Kristen14 (my sis) and dallasprosports (for all things sports in the grand city of Dallas...good stuff!), musicians such as Marklee3d (Mark from Third Day....I talked about him once before in reference to Twitter. See Post: @Marklee3d WE ARE... PENN STATE). During the hurricane season I started following a few Coast Guard people that were in District 8 (very helpful!! CoastGuardNews being one of my faves and of course RyanErickson, he's always got some good tweets). If you want to be connected to the rest of the world you can follow people like CnnBrk (I think Fox News has one too... Id have to search its Twitter name though) for breaking news stories or any number of the Google News usernames for any news you want. You can also search local news stations (Case in point, I follow this one guy in Philly that follows NBCPhiladelphia. You usually find this in big cities more so than a little town like Rusk..)

"But why follow these people? What's the point in all this?"

It's all about information and having a laugh, but it doesn't make a lot of sense if that means you're checking another website (at least for some people). That's why you hook it up to your phone so Twitter can send you a text of what your friends/those you are following are doing/thinking/feeling.

It's absolutely free. The only cost is your texting plan. If you have unlimited, you're good to go, but otherwise you'll need to plan your "tweeting" and the "tweets" you receive. What you do is add your phone as a device on Twitter.com like this: "+1903xxxxxxx," and you're set! You'll receive a message from 40404 (which you should save as "Twitter" in your phone book), and you should get to updating and receiving tweets!

Not to worry. You can regulate the tweets you receive. There is an option to turn off text updates to your phone or even for a certain period of time. Example, I have updates turned off from 10 PM to 8 AM for every day. That way I'm not bothered every night by Twitter texts and what you people are doing. And when I have dates I simply text "Off" to 40404, turning off all tweets till I decide to send "On".... easy enough so far, right? =)

That's what really makes Twitter fun, being able to update from your phone. Sometimes there's something that happens right then (like a ninja jumping out from an alleyway to help a stranger cross the road). Sometimes there are moments in our lives we want to share, but we can't since we're not near a computer to write about it. That's where Twitter comes in.

And of course, there's updating from your computer. Sometimes going to the website just to update is kind of silly. That's why there's a bunch of applications you can download. I have one on my desktop that is always up and running giving me updates and letting me post updates, one I can update from my IM client, and I have two on Firefox (for different uses). That way I can update my Twitter extremely easily and quickly.

"But why have another Facebook status?"

That's the thing. It really is you're Facebook status. If you go to Facebook and add the Twitter application, you can click the option to have Twitter's Facebook application update your Facebook status whenever you update Twitter. (I have the app but dont let it update) That way you're communicating not only with just your fellow Twitter users but also with all your friends on Facebook. In all honesty though, you can add Twitter to anything nowadays. It's on Facebook, FriendFeed, Blogger, Myspace, any number of news websites or just general websites, and it's even on World of Warcraft (so Ive heard lol). Yes, people can get THAT obsessed with Twitter.

"How do I use it? Is there a right or wrong way of going about it?"

Well really, you just need to be you and answer "What are you doing?" in 140 characters, but it depends. Some people say you should update with everything EXCEPT what you're doing to make your tweets different. Really the whole point is to make your tweets interesting. You're entertaining your friends here. Make them laugh a bit. I don't care to know you're "Brushing my teeth," "walking out the door," "pulling out of the driveway." I don't need to know every detail about your day to day, but I want to know how you're doing, what's on your mind, etc. Be interesting! Be entertaining!

"What are some of the tricks?"

There are three things really.

First there are @replies. Basically, an @reply directs a tweet at an individual person or replies to a tweet of said person (hence "reply" in "@reply). Say you wanted to say something do me. You'd just type "@Lauren42 blahblahblah." An @reply is also public, so anyone can read it. (there is a more private way to do things... see below)
However, an @reply like said example won't show up on your Facebook status, so no worries about that. People also use @replies to refer to someone they're with like this: "Chilling out at Starbucks with @Lauren42," and that will show up on your Facebook status.

Second are direct messages. Sometimes a twitter conversation doesn't need to be public. Instead you type "d username" to send a direct message to a fellow Twitter user. Example, to talk to me you'd type "d Lauren42 blahblahblah" and I'd receive that tweet and I alone. (side note: if you have said persons cell phone number, just text them! I use direct messages for talking to people I follow like DallasProSports or FaithWords.... and on one such occasion Kristen got her phone taken up in class but had access to a computer so we talked via direct message on Twitter Web) =)

Third are hashtags, which are a little tricky. A hashtag is something that marks your tweet to a specific subject matter and makes it easy to find. I know, a little tough to grasp for someone just entering the Twitter World..

Try this: Go to http://www.search.twitter.com and type in phillies (big surprise that I normally use this feature for searching sports news?! lol)
What you'll find are all sorts of tweets about what's going on with, what people think about, how people feel about the Phillies. Hashtags are usually used for Twitter memes and such. Not everyone goes by them, but a lot of people do. If you tweet enough, you'll learn what the trend is with hashtags and the passing of information. Usually the big events have them like #gustav when hurricane Gustav came into town and Twitter was being used for search and rescue, and #080808 was used for anything and everything going on with the Olympics (hence the Olympics falling on 08/08/08). You won't have to worry too much about hashtags, but don't hesitate to use them if you want to!

Twitter is great fun if you just jump in and start using it! As always you can email me with questions [Lparsons11@gmail.com] or just leave me a comment here. Dont forget to send "follow Lauren42" to 40404 after creating your account! Hope to be hearing some wonderful tweets from you guys in the near future! =)

~LaurenNicole

Its a slow fade when you give yourself away

2008-11-18T03:27:00.004-06:00

While I waited to talk to Bryan tonight via webcam (I'm here in Texas and he is in Iraq yet still we can communicate as if we were next to one another! Isn't technology grand?!) I was going through a chain of blogs (clicking next blog at the top of the page) and ironically, I came across this one blog that I unknowingly needed to read..
It had a song on it and I ended up reading the lyrics over and over and it really got me thinking.
Here are the lyrics.... and the thoughts are below the song

Be careful little eyes what you see.

It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings

Be careful little feet where you go

For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray

Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

It's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear

When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say

For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray

Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands

Is shorter than you're thinking

Be careful if you think you stand

You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray

Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

Daddies never crumble in a day

Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see

Oh be careful little eyes what you see

For the Father up above is looking down in love

Oh be careful little eyes what you see

I know that bad thoughts go through our minds, it's part of living on this world. Our duty is to push them on through and not let them pull up a chair and sit down. We (myself included for sure!) need to fill our "cup" full with good things so that there's no room to hold the bad that likes to slip in.

Side note: I apologize for my poor sentence structure and whatever else my writing may be lacking. It's pretty late and I've had very little sleep.

Glenn Beck is better than crack

2008-11-17T19:18:00.002-06:00

Yeah, I said it.

He's going to be in Texas on December 11th. He'll be in Tyler at Hastings (on South Broadway for those of you who aren't addicted to expanding your library like I am...or if you just didn't know) from 5:00-6:00 and in north Dallas at Boarders (just off Preston Rd, north of Orchid Ln) from 8:00-9:00.

You can bet your grandma that I'll be in Tyler that night! (that evening Mom has a doctor appointment a few blocks down from Hastings anyway so it works out perfect!)

I couldn't be more pleased! I'm seriously fighting the urge to dance around the room.

10 Ways to give thanks

2008-11-17T18:19:00.007-06:00

Yes, that's right.... it's that time of year, the holiday season.

Thanksgiving is drawing near and as such I've comprised a list of things you can do to show those who are special in your life how thankful you are for them.

The holiday, however, shouldn't be the only time you give thanks to others. Expressing your gratitude year 'round has been shown to bring happiness and maintain good friendships. So next time you want to thank someone try one of these 10 ideas to make a lasting impact.

Be specific. Rather than just saying "thank you" to someone after he or she has done something for you, explain what they did specifically and how it affected you. For example "Thank you so much for picking up the groceries today. I've been really busy and I couldn't have done it without you."

Write a note. A hand-written note or letter of thanks is rare nowadays, which makes it extra special.

Send flowers. Flowers are a great way to say "thank you". They'll make someone feel appreciated and brighten their day. You don't have to spend a lot of money. Pick up a bouquet of flowers from a local grocery store or (even better!) cut blooms from your garden and deliver them yourself.

Give a special gift. Gifts don't have to be pricey or overdone. Find out what your friend or coworker likes. Do they like going to the movies? do they love to write? You can get them a gift card, or buy them a journal or pen.

Pick up the phone. Place an unexpected phone call to say "thank you" to that someone you've been thinking about. You can let them know you are grateful to have them in your life. You'll be glad you called, and so will they.

Sweeten it up. Leave a piece of chocolate (extra dark is the healthiest!) on someone's chair or desk. You can accompany it with a little note. It's a great way to sweeten their day!
Bake. Nothing says "thank you" like a batch of homemade cookies. (I have some simple recipes if you're interested in this one...) Home baked treats can make the recipient of you"thank you" feel very appreciated for your time and effort.

E-card. The Internet is one of the fastest ways to connect with people, especially when they live far and there's a time difference. There are a lot of free E-cards out there to choose from.

Frame it. A picture says a million words. If a close friend has been there for you lately, and you really want to show your appreciation, frame a picture of the two of you, and note hoe much you appreciate them in your life. Maybe jazz up the frame with a few personal items.

Mix it up. You and your family members can each write down something to be thankful for on a piece of paper. Mix up the notes in a bowl. At the dinner table, pass the bowl around and have each member select and read a not out loud. Though this can be done at any time, it may be a great way to spend part of your Thanksgiving meal.

No matter what you decide remember: simple gestures go a long way, all year long!

Lets play a game of Cowboys and Indians

2008-11-17T13:59:00.005-06:00

hehehe My Cowboys won last night =)
They didn't look super amazing or anything but there is a W in the column so I'm happy... aaaannnddd we are once again ahead of the lame Birds so theres something else to dance about!

Fly Eagles Fly, On the road to.... last!

hahaha

One of the game commentators made the comment in the 4th quarter that Barber is to the Cowboys as Lidge is to the Phillies.... he of course was right on with that one! (Lidge is the closer for the Phils for those of you who aren't obsessed with his career like I am) lol

Barber had like 150 total yards(most of which came in the 4th) and one TD. Not bad for a guy who hasn't had like anything since week 7. Ratliff had a pretty good night too and much to my pleasant surprise, former Aggie, Martellus Bennett had a 25-yd pass from Tony and his first TD since we played the Cardinals in week 6!

And how about those Dolphins??! They're on what, a 4 game winning streak?? That's great for them considering last season they finished 1-15!! Yay Parcells!! Doesn't he have the Dolphins doing about the same as Wade has the Cowboys? They may be up by like one game in the conference but its still about the same aside from that (I could be wrong but I doubt it lol)

I sure do miss the Big Tuna! He didn't sit in press conferences and answer the same question 10 times! But still, Wades not too bad I suppose.

Next week Miami plays the Pats (who got beat by the Jets Thursday!) Any ideas on how that game will play out?? (I have a few! lol)

I do believe; help my unbelief

2008-11-14T11:34:00.001-06:00

Mark 9:20-24 (NASB)

20 They brought the boy to Him. When he saw Him, immediately the spirit threw him into a convulsion, and falling to the ground, he began rolling around and foaming at the mouth.
21 And He asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?" And he said, "From childhood
22 It has often thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!"
23 And Jesus said to him, "'If You can?' All things are possible to him who believes."
24 Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief."

How many are the burdens we carry which could be relieved by a simple and yet sincere confession like the one made by this father? It seems like we wait until things are overwhelming before we will cry out to the Heavenly Father for help. But why is that? Is it because we like frustration? Or perhaps it's because we revel in anxiety. It brings to mind the old hymn "What a Friend We Have in Jesus," when at the end of the first stanza the hymn writer wrote,

Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Look at the prayer of this desperate man once again, "But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!" Not a powerful cry for help, but a sincere one. This man was at the end of his rope and he didn't know where else to turn. The Lord's response was not a rebuke as much as it was an aid in helping the man refocus. Jesus said, "If You can? All things are possible to him who believes." Notice the aspect of hope, "ALL things are possible to him who believes." What affect did Jesus' words have on this father? The man did not pretend to be something he wasn't, he simply asked for that which only God could give; the ability to truly believe!

Could it really be that easy? Could it really be that simple? Maybe this is what Jesus meant when He said in Matthew 7:7-8, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." Therefore, let us ask, and then watch as God builds our faith so we too will know that, "All things are possible to him who believes."

100th Post

2008-11-11T12:01:00.004-06:00

Yes, Its my 100th post since last March when I created this thing. This blog has been through a lot of things over the months: a trip to Mexico, Ty, hurricanes, Grandmother's death, birthdays, love, loss, my walk with God, my thoughts, plans, hopes, dreams-- everything!

Check out my other blog txunlimited.blogspot.com
I have something totally rockin' posted there for today =)

Every war has an end

2008-11-10T09:27:00.007-06:00

"In their sorrow, these families need to know — and families all across our nation of the fallen — need to know that your loved ones served a cause that is good and just and noble. And as their commander in chief, I make you this promise: Their sacrifice will not be in vain."

~President George W. Bush

Remembering America's warriors is often an afterthought for many Americans. It's about time Nov. 11 is paid its proper respect.

Veterans Day, once a widely celebrated holiday, is increasingly forgotten by many Americans. One need only look at the poor turnouts at ceremonies on Nov. 11. With the percentage of citizens who have worn a uniform rapidly declining, appreciation for the sacrifices made by veterans is correspondingly diminishing.

To help counter this trend, VFW has long promoted Veterans Day as an opportunity to educate the public as to the meaning of this significant time each November. This task can best be accomplished by explaining the five "Ws."

Who. As a nation, we remember all Americans who served on active duty in the armed forces. While those who died always remain prominent in our memories, they have a special time of mourning reserved for Memorial Day. Veterans Day is an opportunity to publicly commemorate the contributions of living veterans.

What. Collective as well as individual contributions to the nation's defense are what we are remembering. The outcome of any given military campaign is irrelevant here--it's the sacrifices made at the behest of the country that are important.

Where. Across the land, the grounds of virtually every state capitol and county courthouse host monuments, memorials and plaques honoring those who served. They date back as far as the American Revolution and are as recent as the Iraq War. But paying homage to veterans need not necessarily be in a public place. Every private home also should serve this purpose when appropriate.

When. For some Americans, remembering veterans is a daily act. But as a nation, it is essential that we preserve the integrity of Nov. 11 as that one extra-special day for the American people as a whole to pause in silence or demonstrate public recognition.

Why. Remembering gives true meaning to sacrifice and service. Millions of Americans' lives were forever altered because they donned a uniform to protect the freedoms and rights we take for granted. We owe an eternal debt of gratitude to them. And acknowledging Veterans Day is the time that debt comes due. It's our way of keeping faith.

All of this is particularly relevant now, with the nation at war in Afghanistan and Iraq. Nearly 4,800 Americans have been killed in the two war zones to date. Approximately 1.7 million tours have been logged so far with 600,000 individuals having served there. About 325,000 of them have used VA benefits and services. Many, present as well as past, have displayed exceptional courage on the battlefield, as this month's issue clearly illustrates.

There is undoubtedly a parade or the like in an area near you-- plan to spend a few hours there and be sure and thank as many Vets as you possibaly can. Let's not take this day for granted.

Cayenne pepper

2008-11-09T18:37:00.002-06:00

http://www.healingdaily.com/detoxification-diet/cayenne.htm

You SO have to check this site out!! Cayenne pepper is probably my favorite herb now! I might even like it better than Vitamin E (and that's saying a LOT!! lol)
This kind of thing, learning about herbs and vitamins, is so amazing to me! I can't help but be excited when I come across new information or like tonight, new herbs/vitamins in general.
I'm still so excited by my discovery so my sentences are pretty lame and have the quality of a 7 year old, sorry! lol I can't seem to help it though...
I'm like [seriously] fighting the urge to jump up and down and maybe even dance around the room a little. lol

Anyway, check it out! It's super cool!! Let me know what you think of it too! I'd love to know!! =)

A Day for Unity

2008-11-05T15:31:00.001-06:00

I Peter 2:13-17 (NASB)

13 Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority,
14 or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right.
15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men
16 Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God.
17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.

Votes have been tallied, choices have been made, and a direction has been set. Regardless of one's personal opinion for the selection of our nation's leaders, today is a day of unity. God knew the outcome of our elections long before the results came in last night and now it is time for us to rally around our new leaders just as God commanded us.

Look at Peter's words here, "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority,or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right." In Romans 13:1 Paul offered the same instruction, and revealed to us that our government officials were set in place by God Himself, "Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God."

Therefore, let us follow the instructions of the Lord and pray for our newly elected President Obama and the cabinet which he will assemble for his administration. In doing this, we are obeying and honoring God. "Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king."

New! New! New!

2008-11-05T14:24:00.002-06:00

New blogs posted at TXunlimited.blogspot.com

Check it out!

Let me know what you think of all the new stuff!! =)

@marklee3d WE ARE

2008-10-26T13:17:00.003-05:00

What a great weekend for sports!! =) My Aggies won, Texas won, Penn won (loved @marklee3d's twitters after the game hahaaaaha soo cute!), Texas Tech won [big time!!!lol], annnndddd the Phillies took game 3!!! =D that was amazing! They could have played better of course but the W in the column at the end was nice. Im glad they play in Philly the next two games!!! I would give [almost] anything to be there!! Wow, how awesome would that be?!
If the Stars had pulled off a win the day would have been perfect!

The real test to the weekend will be my Cowboys.....
Our D has got to stop Dunn! They just have to! Johnson has to stay calm and look for smart plays. And if our RBs aren't more productive, all is lost. Barber needs to make more of the plays when he has the chance and dang it, our WRs need to do the same! TO has been avg to say the least and Roy Williams needs to show what he's made of! It's a team effort....team....one team, my Cowboys. They can pull off the win today if they just play like a team. Such a cliche sentence but still oh so true!

baseball and the things that really matter

2008-10-23T01:45:00.004-05:00

The Phillies got their first win of the series tonight and I wish I could honestly say, "I could care less" but I can't nor would I just to appease anyone. Call me a bandwagon fan if you want, I don't care. I have every intention of watching the Phillies until I lose my desire for baseball; ironic though it may be that this season, my first as a fan, they happen to go to the WS. Do you detect a slightly bitter tone to my words? If not, you should.

That being said, congrats to the Phils tonight on their win! Chase was amazing, like always and Hamels did what he does best-play great ball. Wish Rollins would get his bat going more.. wish the same for Howard too but if not then I'm glad to see guys like Vic and Chase getting things done for the Phils. Werth had some good hits tonight as well, I was impressed.

Enough on baseball though...

I've lost focus on some things in life and these past few days I've tried to figure out how to change that or if I even want to see it changed. Last night I was going through my AOL email account, one I check maybe once every two months now that Ty doesn't email me there anymore, and I came across some emails that really slapped me in the face.
I posted bits of some but its what I didn't post that I can't seem to get out of my head. In my rediscovery of past correspondence I all too eagerly went to my desk and pulled out the old pictures he sent me of him in Iraq and of his family in FL. It felt so surreal to see those smiling faces surrounding him in the pictures. His two kids...wow, it was like I was seeing them look up at an empty space grinning from ear to ear rather than Ericka with her cute little pig-tails and Tyrell with his boyish smirk and quizzical brow starring up at their daddy. I cried-- I cried and couldn't stop myself. For what seemed like hours I read and reread his letters and surveyed every inch of the pictures of his once cherished family.

I've stopped speaking up for guys like him and it's brought in me a guilt I cannot even begin to describe. I started a website at the beginning of the year.. it was a place meant to rally support for our troops and to put approved information about the war accompanied by a chat room and Internet forum.. it was rockin! But this summer I got distracted and stopped working on it. At the time I thought the distraction was worth it but after going back and remembering what I was being distracted from I realize, it really wasn't...or was it?

So, as I sit here trying to find the drive to get this website finished I wonder, is it even worth it? Such a loaded question but one I feel must be answered before I can move on.

iCasualties.org

2008-10-21T22:39:00.002-05:00

Today is a slow day for us, we are packing up some stuff to move to another place, blah blah. I guess that is better than the alternative-- getting shot at or blown up. I count my blessings

I found some old letters, emails and pictures from Ty tonight.... its been a sad night for sure.

My kids are little Angels. Erika 3, and Tyrell (aka Buddy) 2. I know all parents say this but they are beautiful and very intelligent. They show me what love and patience are.

I hate to think what all has changed over time for them.

I like that you have a passion for learning; most people never take the time to go look up those unanswered questions. If I had to choose something to be passionate about, that is definitely a keeper.

Loved this guy! Miss him more.

2008-10-18T20:07:00.003-05:00

Broken finger or not I still love Tony and cant wait to see him out there again! :)

Im pretty stoked about Roy Williams. We wont have to depend so much on Crayton and Autsin now and with Brad going with more of a running game, having Williams should be great! Of course...a lot of things SHOULD have been great with the 'Boys this season and werent... :/ Oh well, I still believe!!! :)

GO COWBOYS!!!

2008-10-17T15:57:00.001-05:00

Crazy much that I had 42 posts in September and now only 4 in October..

2008-10-09T21:30:00.001-05:00

Go Phillies!!

A vocabulary of truth and simplicity will be of service throughout your life

2008-10-02T23:31:00.002-05:00

"Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value to its scarcity."

Samuel Johnson

In his autobiography, My American Journey, Colin L. Powell tells of an experience when he was a colonel in Korea.
Powell had worked hard to carry out the wishes of his commanding officer, Major General "Gunfighter" Emerson. It was not an order that he agreed with. It was an attempt to impress a visiting dignitary and he felt it was a waste of time and energy for his men. Nevertheless, he dutifully accomplished the assignment.

When the ordeal was finished, Powell felt like a fraud. With his head drooping, he was visibly embarrassed. A first sergeant fell into step with him as he walked away. "That was a hoot, sir, wasn't it?"

"It was stupid," Powell blurted out. "I hate to see the troops do stupid things. And I hate to be the one responsible for it."

The sergeant was quiet for a time. "Colonel Powell, don't worry. We don't know what that was all about. But the men know you wouldn't have cooked up something that dumb on your own. They trust you. They won't hold it against you. We went along because you needed it. Relax, sir."

It was this next paragraph in General Powell's story that struck me. "In all my years in the Army, among all the citations, medals and promotions, I never appreciated any tribute more than I did the sergeant's words at that low point."

Here is one of the most admired and respected men in the world, who was deeply affected by the kind and supportive words of a subordinate. I wouldn't be surprised if that sergeant doesn't even remember saying what he did to Colin Powell that night.

No doubt there have been people in your life who have said something to you that inspired or encouraged you at an important time.

We all affect everyone else. And we rarely know when it's had an impact on someone. What we say, what we do and how we are being, can make a profound impression on others. If we're constantly looking for ways to encourage and support others, we will surely make a difference.

Who can you encourage today?

O/D on, off?? What thaa?

2008-10-02T12:17:00.003-05:00

So the question was raised the other day in regards to O/D so today I thought Id look up the answer to said question.

O/D stands for Over Drive. In basic terms it is another gear. If your transmission is a three speed, the O/D makes it a four speed. It is comparable to fifth gear in a manual transmission. The reason for the O/D is to let the engine work less harder while maintaining the same vehicle speed. It does save fuel on the highway and that is the main reason for it.
Whether you should leave it on or off depends a great deal on where you drive. If most, say 50% to 75% of your driving is local city driving below 40 mph, you should leave it off. If most of your driving is highway above 45 mph, then it would be best to leave it on.

Dont laugh, I seriously had no idea what O/D meant and it freaked me the heck out when it flashed on my car the other day lol

I remember when

2008-09-22T08:03:00.004-05:00

Glenn Beck did a segment on his program a few months back about the Statue of Liberty. He said few people knew what was inscribed there so me, being a fountain of useless knowledge decided to be one of the few who knew what it said in full. Today I have decided to share in my wealth.

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles.

From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Care to give your opinion on what she says? Cause you know in due time I'll probably give my opinion.... you might as well get your 2 cents in as well lol

2008-09-22T07:32:00.005-05:00

If someone were to ask me what I wanted at this exact moment I would simply direct them to this picture.

This picture speaks a thousand words in about a thousand languages, it is what drives my desires and captures my free thought. I love the ocean! I want it, I long for it!

It may seem silly but I can't help that. It's just me.

Here is another driving force (yes, Bryan the picture is sideways lol no comments please).

Look at those colors though. It is so gorgeous! What an amazing Artist who created such a masterpiece!

It simply takes my breath away (and my ability to form decent sentences it would seem and for that I apologize).

Let's go a little farther

2008-09-20T19:02:00.004-05:00

Places I want to visit in my lifetime:

Grand Canyon
Sydney, Australia
New York (again)
Ayers Rock in Australia (at sunrise or sunset)
Venice, Italy (only because of Ross Kings' song)
Maldives (sometime in the early part of the year)
The Great Wall of China
Victoria Falls
Yosemite Valley

And like every state in the continental US. :)

I really want to spend more time exploring Texas and the Western US as well. Ive only ever been to the Eastern states and wouldnt mind changing that.

Lets go a little deeper, shall we?

2008-09-18T18:02:00.011-05:00

Not many people know this stuff so sit up and pay attention unless you just really don't care to know more. If that's the case then you might as well find something else to read.

Otherwise, enjoy :)

I only write with G2 pens and Black Warrior pencils.

I want to learn Spanish but my beliefs and bitterness regarding the Texas-Mexico boarder keep me from learning much I'm afraid.

On more than one occasion I've wished to be able to read the Bible in Hebrew

I love human anatomy

Italian food is my favorite

I pride myself on my wealth of random knowledge

Learning is something I hope to never stop doing

In school, History was my favorite subject.

I want to live along the coast cause it's about as close to the water as I can be on a regular basis.

Growing up I thought Firefighters were the most amazing group of people on the planet. That wouldn't have anything to do with dad being Chief, would it??! LOL I also spent more time at the station playing on the trucks then I did at the park on the swings or slide. Guess you could say the fire house was my playground growing up?? :)

I loooove sweet tea :) I drink it like its going out of style.
I also have a thing for apple juice slushes from Sonic and mountain dew of course. :) (Dad told me the other day Ive always reminded him of mom the way I love mt dew....I didnt even know she liked the stuff! lol )

If you knew what was on my iPod you might be surprised...you might actually laugh a little

I love cooking for other people but do not often like eating it myself

Teaching is something I love doing

I would rather live in Texas my entire life but realize there is a chance of that not happening

I think I would have liked to have been born in the early 1900's

Old Southern women make me smile :)

eBay is a bit addicting for me if I'm not careful

On my days off I listen to Glenn Beck then Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity followed by David Smoak on the radio. I also catch up on all my TV shows: Prison Break, Army Wives, Private Practice and in a few days I can add Grey's Anatomy back to the list!! :D Also while I'm getting dinner started I sometimes have SportsCenter on.
I love salads but will only eat Romain lettuce...the rest of the family likes Iceburg or whatever but I dont like it at ALL! yuck!

I want to meet Marcus Luttrell!! (oh wait, a lot of people already know I want that lol)

I am very passionate about football and wont hesitate to let you know just how much I know about the sport (in time you may find that quality to be a bit annoying, sorry)

I would love to relive this years July 4th ;) It was by far the best!

This is me, being bored. I apologize

2008-09-17T18:40:00.012-05:00

Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
For sure! I love it :)

A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
I suppose a short party dress but being from the South, sun dresses are more my thing not 'party' dresses :)

What would you do if you received a long love letter?
ummmm.... read it lol

Group dates or single dates?
both are fine

Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?
yes of course

6.Are diamonds a girl’s best friend?
Not this girl. Pearls are my thing :)

Is your hair up or down today?
Down, it's much more feminine

Do you straighten your hair?
Often

Favorite mascara?
Don't have a fave

Do you get your nails done?
I do indeed

Small or large purses?
Small

In your purse, what are your must haves?
wallet, cell phone, lip gloss and a black or blue G2 pen (seriously, I'm pretty OCD about it...not really but close)

Jeans or sweats?
Jeans unless it's College Gameday in the Fall when it's cool outside. :)
Then it's sweats and my A&M hoodie :D

Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that’s uncomfortable?
I do indeed and it's worth it more often than not. :)

Do you text message a lot?
Like it's my job!

What would you do if you got pregnant?
My husband and I would discuss our child's future. Then I'd call everyone I know and tell them the good news :)

But don't expect that phone call for a looooooonnnnnggg time!!! lol

What’s your favorite color?
It changes.
Currently it is blue

Heels or flats?
Depends.
I love heels though :)

Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
Only the Notebook but that could have been because of who I watched it with! LOL
I almost cried once when I watched Pride and Prejudice but Kris was watching it with me so I sucked it up

Would you ever leave the house without make-up on?
Yes, I am comfortable enough with myself to do such a thing but I don't prefer it

Walmart or Target?
Walmart is more convenient otherwise I would like Target better

Do you wear collared shirts?
On occasions

Do you like preppy boys?
So it would seem considering my history

Do you think lip gloss is the best!?
for sure! :)

Do you own any big sunglasses?
psh.Heck no Sheriff! Those are gay.
I'm more sporty with my shades ;)

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
it takes about an hour and 15 mins

Do you like to wear band-aids?
like? uh, no I don't suppose so.

Do you like skater boys?
I've dated my share of them

Do you often wish there was something you could change?

Gold or silver?
Silver for sure

Do you like to receive flowers?
I do indeed.
PS. Daises are my favorite :)

Do you like surfer boys?
Uh, there aren't many this far inland but I wont say I'm not attracted to them

Do you dress up for the holidays?
Indeed

Do you like to wear dresses?
love to :)

On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
When you take out the silly emotions girls often allow themselves you find guys to be much less complicated. Actually that factors in with most of life....

In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
Oh course
Bry came to see me just this afternoon
He even brought me a sweet tea from Sonic (thanks love) :)

Would you date a guy shorter than you?
I wont limit myself to height but I prefer they be somewhat taller.

Do you like to hold hands?
love it!!! :)

What is the oldest you would date?
no more than 3 year older I guess but it matters very little to me

What do you notice when you first meet a guy?
smile then eyes, if I like that then I'll try and figure out their personality

What is the best feature in a guy?
looks change over time but personality rarely alters

Would you kill for chocolate?
uh, no lol
I'm really not much of a chocolate lover

Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
Ha, actually yes.
It's fun though so I don't do it so much because I need to or feel like I am supposed to. I really enjoy spending time "getting pretty" :)

On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping?
8-ish

Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show?
DVR babyy!!! :)
However, if it's sports, I do tend to get a little upset but I certainly don't "freak out". I am very chill about life.

Do you yell a lot?
No way.
Very seldom do I yell.

Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work?
Ew, no!

Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
it's unlikely but perhaps

Do you write a lot of mushy love poems?
no, not 'mushy love poems' but I do on occasions get the urge to write a few lines of what I suppose you could consider metaphysical poetry. :)

What makeup could you not live w/ out?
lip gloss!

Do you fall in love easily?
Not at all

Do you think you have the bestest friend ever?
of course :)

aaannnd we're back

2008-09-17T16:56:00.005-05:00

My ISP is awesome :)

As is the location of my home :)

I'll update later.

I have plenty to say after Ike!! :(

That was scaaaaaaarrryyy!!!

There will come a time when you might have to decide who lives and who dies out there.

2008-09-12T14:18:00.006-05:00

The U.S. Coast Guard on Friday morning began helicopter rescues of up to 50 residents on the Texas coast, and a U.S. military official told CNN that 37,000 people may need to be rescued after Hurricane Ike strikes.

U.S. Coast Guard (USCG)
Source:Department of Homeland Security Documents and Publications.

USCG continues to conduct port assessment operations and forces have been deployed to conduct response, recovery and clean up operations, and are working with port and industry partners.

USCG's mission is to open the ports as soon as possible with minimum effect on commerce.* USCG has 17 helicopters in Texas and 10 helicopters within reach to support search and rescue operations as needed. USCG also has 10 fixed-wing aircraft to support over-flight and transportation missions.

Wanna know what came to mind when I read the reports this morning? (I can't help it, it's just me...)

Ben Randall: There will come a time when you might have to decide who lives and dies out there. It's a terrible responsibility but it's one you will have to make as a rescue swimmer. The bigger reality is, its also something you are going to have to live with as a human being. There will come a time when you will have to say no. The most important person to keep alive is yourself. You'll be facing crews from 5 to 20 all saying 'save me, save me.' They're looking for a miracle. How old are you Hodge?

Billy Hodge: 24.

Ben Randall: At 24 years old you have to become that miracle. You have to find a way to be that miracle.

- - --------------------- - -

Capt. Frank Larson: [During pep-talk:] When storms shut down the entire force, we go out. When hurricanes ground the United States Navy, we go out. And when the Holy Lord himself reaches down from heaven and destroys His good work with winds that rip houses off the ground, we go out.

I love this movie. I could seriously watch it all day if time allowed.

Lets play a game

2008-09-12T12:53:00.006-05:00

Tell me who is known for these quotes.

"We will always remember.

We will always be proud.

We will always be prepared, so we may always be free."

"Give me and army of West Point graduates and I'll win a battle.

Give me a hadful of Texas Aggies, and I'll win the war."

“I have no fear that the result of our experiment will be that men may be trusted to govern themselves without a master.”

“Texas will again lift it's head and stand among the nations.

It ought to do so,

for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages.”

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

“Be polite to all, but intimate with few.”

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but be never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it it."

(This one never gets old and it's not the words so much that amuse me, it's who said it!)

"Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart courage to make love known?”

“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: Those who are afraid to try themselves, and those who are afraid that you will succeed.”

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

"Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination.

This is the war of the future.”

"This moment contains all moments.”

"Listen to many, speak to a few.”

(I love this one!)

"The doom of a nation can be averted only by a storm of flowing passion,

but only those who are passionate themselves can arouse passion in others.”

"What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what kind of a person you are”

"How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.”

Okay, that's enough for now. Those are just a few of my favorite quotes.

Most are from pretty well known people so hopefully you know a good deal of who said these.

And even if you don't know who said them, they should give you a better idea about me. They are all top quotes of mine for a reason, eh.

Actually, here is one more.

It's not a quote but rather a few lines from a book I enjoy.

See if you can name the book.

"When the procession formed up before the emperor, she saluted him. The priest and the virgins surrounded her, and urged her to pay reverence to the statue of Diana. Pointing to her parents, they implored her for their sake to recant. Pale as death, she shook her head quietly.

"I cannot deny the Lord who died for me," she said.

Nero himself rose from his seat.

"Maiden," he said, "if not for your own sake, for the sake of those who love you, I pray you to cease from your obstinacy. How can a child like you know more than the wisest heads of Rome? How can you deny the gods who have protected and given victory to your country? I would fain spare you."

"I am but a child, as you say Caesar," Ennia replied.

"I have no strength of my own, but I am strong in the strength of Him I worship. He gave His life for me-it is not much that I should give mine for Him."

2008-09-12T12:39:00.004-05:00

I had to take off from work today to go to the doctor. :(

Good news, no strep!

The game got moved tonight because of the hurricane.

In the meantime I've been trying to decide what I want to do on my blog for FPW. Yes, it's roughly a month away but still. Our boys down and the station have some cool stuff planned this year (like always) and it's giving me the itch to do something here as well.

I was looking around on the FPW's website and I am currently listening to some of the audio clips they offer. Those dang Yankee accents keep me very entertained. lol

She sounds like she's from Jersey or close to it. Some accents from up there I just can't stand. Oh my word! Wisconsin just hearing that word in a Wisconsin accent kills me. I try to stay away from hearing it at all costs.

It's just WI though. I love listening to other northern accents so go figure.

I can't believe it's been seven years

2008-09-12T00:42:00.009-05:00

9/11/01

It was such a surreal day.

They say it's the Kennedy assassination of our generation - meaning, we'll always remember where we were and what we were doing when we found out.
Such a sad day in our history. Yes, with the Kennedy assassination, America lost a bit of its innocence. With 9/11, we lost a lot more.

Where were you?

I was at school. An innocent little 6th grader sitting in athletics waiting on the bell to ring for second period when coach came out of her office after having just received a phone call and explained to us what had happened to America.

By then both towers had fell, PA had been hit and the Pentagon was burning. I don't think any of us truly understood what it meant at the time but I do remember thinking that everything was going to change for our country.
When school let out I went home and like many, I was glued to the T.V. for the rest of the day, crying. The idea that thousands of people worked in the towers on a daily basis - and could all be gone - was horrifying. I kept thinking about the panic that their families must have been feeling, not knowing if they were okay.

I remember in the aftermath being so proud to be an American. It didn't take long for me to understand (at least on a basic level) what had happened seeing as my mother has always thought it was vitally important for us to stay in the middle of current local and world affairs.
I remember as soon as my school work was finished each day I would turn on the news to stay as up to date as possible. I watched as Americans from coast to coast, came together in support of one another. I was so proud of our nation.
Never in my life have I, as a southern girl, been truly proud of the north but I was amazed by how those guys responded to the attacks. I remember watching those brash Yankees get on the news and talk about how they(the terrorists) had messed with the wrong people by messing with NY and I felt overwhelmed with pride in those words. Guess that didn't last too long, did it? Now, I'm sure not everyone up north is crazy in thinking this was all fake but still.

What a difference seven years has made, eh? The Glenn Beck program this morning on 9/11 was amazing. You should go to his website and sign up to listen to the show, it's worth it.

Time has and will continue to show just how big of a change America will experience after this day in history. Time-- something so many that day no longer have thanks to these radical extremists. The thing that bugs me more each passing year on this day is how the number on people wishing to ignore that days events seems to be growing. The media doesn't want to show what happened or talk about it at all and that just can't happen lest we fall asleep again and become vulnerable to another attack.

Wake up America, wake up.

It's time to become alert again.

Time to join together again.

Time to show our enemies what America is really made of.

It's time America, wake up.

2008-09-11T19:58:00.002-05:00

I apologize about the Glenn Beck thing. It didnt occur to me that there might actually be people who aren't subscribed to him lol
Get in touch with me though and we can figure something out.

~Lauren

http://www.glennbeck.com/content/radio/ ((Watch the first video on 9/11))

2008-09-11T17:04:00.008-05:00

9/11/08 Glenn Beck's Program about September 11, 2001.

Listen to the first hour.
It doesn't last an hour...just a few minutes.

you may think I'm crude for putting this on here but honestly, I don't care.

I have never said I was socially correct and I believe this is a prime example.

This kind of thing happened!

Because of what happened that day people just like this man had to decide how they wanted to die, burn to death or jump.

And it doesn't need to be pushed aside because it might hurt people all over again.

That's just inviting it to happen again!

This should not have had to happen in the first place!

I don't apologize for the way I feel about my county.

I never have and I never intend to.

This is my home and I shall treat it as such!

Guardians of the sea will have the chance to once again surpass expectations

2008-09-11T16:10:00.011-05:00

The way people are evacuating, it is astoundingly evident to all that after Katrina, no one takes these events lightly. The news has dominated the airways on all cable channels, news outlets, and print media. So I'd expect that any available Coast Guard's resource will be allocated to Sector Houston-Galveston.

While this storm brings only anxiety and fear to most individuals, the Guardians' emotions are only partly consistent with those who can evacuate. I say partly because with devastation, there is always an opportunity to shine through.

Oh what irony today brings. In this decade, the U.S. Coast Guard has risen to the challenge many times. The service seems to always exceed their expectations. However, there are no greater defining moments in the service's recent history than September 11, 2001 and August 29, 2005. An anniversary that we mourn today and a storm's monstrosity that was only outdone by news of the historic heroics of the U.S Coast Guard. It was a an effort that will serve as the standard-bearer for the Coast Guard's SAR capabilities.

I pray the Texas coast and inland cities dodge a devastating blow but I will also send my prayers for the Coast Guard, just in case we need them.

A few less heroes in the world

2008-09-11T11:52:00.005-05:00

I feel there are a few lessons that we should have learned on that day. One of them is there are evil people out there that want to kill us and destroy our great nation. Tied closely to this is the fact that what happens on the other side of world can affect us here at home. Also, you never know when your time is up. Life is too short to be worrying about stupid little things. When we leave for work in the morning there's no guarantee we'll make it home that evening. There's no guarantee our flight will make it to its destination.

September 11th, 2001 produced some of the darkest clouds we have ever seen. We saw our two great pillars of capitalism brought down, a hole put into our great symbol of our military might, and a crater put left in Pennsylvania's countryside. We saw people faced with a decision of how they were going to die, burn or jump 90+ stories. A few days later we saw people desperately getting in front of TV cameras begging for their missing loved ones to contact them, or for people to look out for their missing loved ones. We saw walls in Manhattan covered with posters with pictures of missing people. It's one thing to hear a number; it's another to put faces with those numbers. There were indeed many dark clouds.

But, with those darkest of clouds were the brightest of silver linings. We came to appreciate how our military puts their lives on the line day after day to keep us safe and free. On that day we were also reminded about how brave our first responders are, day in and day out they put their lives on the line to save others. When people were running from the Twin Towers police and port authority officers were running to it to help save lives. When office workers were running down the stairs of the Twin Towers New York City firefighters were running up the stairs to save lives. There were many other acts of heroism by average people that saved many lives at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

Then of course there are the heroic efforts of 40 brave passengers aboard United flight 93. They knew what their fate was. They heard about the World Trade Center and knew their plane was now a guided missile headed for a target on the ground, which we now know was the White House or the Capital Building. They could have sat back and hoped for the best. But, instead they voted and decided to take back the plane and save countless lives on the ground. They claimed the first victory in the war on terror. We came together as a country to help out our fellow Americans that lost loved ones. We came together to help each cope and make it through the sorrow, sadness, and anger we felt in the days after. We realized what a great country we live in and weren't afraid to show our pride for it. The world became full of Americans with notes, and American flags, and flowers left at American embassies. There were all sorts of tributes on every corner of Earth.

I'd like to thank our nation's first responders, military, and every day heroes. Yall are one of the biggest reasons America is the greatest country on Earth. There's nothing I could ever say or do to give you the thanks you truly deserve. Again, my heart goes out to the victims of the terrorist attacks that occurred seven years ago and the people that knew them.

"Wow" is all that comes to mind

2008-09-11T08:05:00.017-05:00

So, I was going through and cleaning up some files on the computer last night and ended up not being very productive.

But I did came across a lot of old pictures I thought were interesting and wanted to post a few of them here.

This, from one of our ever popular summer trips to the Capital. :)

and this one as well (I should have edited this it a bit, sorry its not straight):

Current President of the United States of America and former Governor of the great state of Texas, George W. Bush :)

Rick picking on Josh (like always)

Kris and our grandmothers just after she played Taps at the courthouse on Memorial day last year

Check out the hair! lol

Tell me that's not a blast from the past, eh?!

This was before he started to seriously consider the CG. I kinda miss the long hair... :/

He went from that to this:

He says it's still too long.... maybe so but still, I liked the long hair.

Awww! I miss Joci being that little. Now she rarely lets me hold her like that :(

I feel old saying this but I really don't like seeing her grow up so fast!

She has on her red apron so this must have been around Christmas time...maybe last Christmas-ish??

Lone Survivor (book review)

2008-09-10T22:32:00.007-05:00

Everyone in America should read this book to better understand the amazing men and women who fight for us each and every day and the challenges they confront along the way.
The book is written in two quite distinct parts. The first part is about Seal Training and the second part is about Operation Redwing. Interwoven in the two parts is Marcus Luttrell's life before and after Afghanistan, and his quest to visit each of the families of his friends who were lost and his healing and understanding of the events that occured that day.

The Prologue opens with "..my name is Marcus. And I'm writing this book because of my three buddies Mikey, Danny and Axe. If I don't write it, no one will ever understand the indomitable courage under fire of those three Americans. And that would be the biggest tragedy of all."

The first half of the book is autobiographical. We learn of Marcus' life in Texas - and he's all Texan!(I loved this of course) - the lifelong desire to become a Navy SEAL and the grueling school to become a Navy SEAL. If you want to know what becoming a SEAL is all about, Marcus tells you. Their training is beyond intense and you can't help but have complete respect for SEALs and hold them in awe for their courage, strenght and fortitude. They are trained in body and mind.

The second half of the book deals with Operation Redwing. Marcus takes us into the battle, into the death of his team and dear friends - Mike Murphey, Danny Deitz and Matt Axelson.
The grueling battle, the fall of over one thousand feet down a mountain side, the struggle to survive despite the vast number of enemies, is beyond imagining.
After the enemy has killed his friends, Marcus is severly wounded and presumed dead by American forces. In spite of his injuries, he crawls over seven miles while confronting the assassins sent to kill him. He is taken in by a Pashtun tribe who risk everything to keep him alive and eventually get him back to American forces.

In addition to the loss of the three members of Marcus' SEAL team, the CH-47 rescue helicopter with a rescue and reinforcement team was shot down by a rocket propelled grenade. It was the largest loss of life in SEAL history, and the largest loss of Special Operations Forces since D-Day. Nineteen highly trained, dedicated and patriotic men died that day:

Petty Officer Danny Dietz (SEAL Team 1)

Petty Officer Matthew Axelson (SEAL Team 1)

Navy Lt. Mike Murphy (SEAL Team 1)

Chief Warrant Officer Corey J. Goodnature (pilot, US Army 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment)

Chief Warrant Officer Chris J. Scherkenbach (pilot, US Army 160th SOAR)

Sgt. Kip A. Jacoby (US Army, 160th SOAR)

Sgt. 1st Class Marcus V. Muralles (US Army, 160th SOAR)

Chief Petty Officer Jacques J. Fontan (SEAL Team 10)

Lt. Cmdr. Erik S. Kristensen (SEAL Team 10)

Petty Officer 2nd Class James Suh (SEAL Team 1)

Petty Officer First Class Jeff Taylor (SEAL Team 10 Medic)

Sgt. First Class Michael Russell (US Army, 160th SOAR)

Maj. Steve Reich (pilot, US Army 160th SOAR)

Master Sgt. James "Tre" Ponder III (US Army, 160th SOAR)

Petty Officer 2nd Class Shane Eric Patton (SEAL Team 1)

U.S. Navy Lt. Michael McGreevy (SEAL Team 10)

Petty Officer Jeffrey Alan Lucas (SEAM Team 10)

Senior Chief Petty Officer Dan Healy (SEAL Team 1)

SSgt. Shamus Goare (US Army, 160th SOAR)

Marcus also gives us a parallel view of what was going on at his home during the time he was missing and presumed dead. He tells of the dedication of his family, friends, the SEAL community and the Texans who came to hold vigil. The spirit and faith of these people, many of whom did not know Marcus, is overwhelming and inspiring. It truly made me proud to live in the same America that they live in.

For their bravery and courage under fire Marcus Luttrell (previously known as "The One"), Danny Dietz and Matthew Axelson were awarded the Navy Cross. Michael Murphey was awarded a Silver Star and is being reviewed for a Medal of Honor.

If you ever have any questions about what patriotism, love of country, devotion, courage and bravery are, you only need to read this book to understand what they really mean. I have read this book twice. It has been an emotional journey, a journey of such profound pride in these young men, a journey of anger at trying to impose political correctness into warfare, a journey into the love between people that keeps them going on in spite of great tragedy.

I have heard Marcus' voice telling us what patriotism, love of country, devotion, courage and bravery are and how we undermine it at home. His anger is real. As is his love of his team, his friends, his family, Texas, and America. His shy and introspective nature is pushed to the side to tell this story and to give opinions about America at War. He had to leave the Navy - the thing he loved the most - to tell this story, because his love for his teammates and the truth was even greater. For that, I am truly grateful. Knowing about these twenty Americans has enriched my life.

As I listen to and watch the many interviews with Marcus Luttrell, I see a man who will ever be torn by the grief that was laid upon him by the events of Operation Redwing. I also see a man who gives the greatest respect for people he knows do not respect him, his brothers, the truth.

I'm ready for the movie. I cannot wait!

It is now an addiction

2008-09-10T17:40:00.004-05:00

I, Lauren Nicole, am now addicted to Army Wives.

I never saw that coming. I think it's because I'm drawn to what I'm learning from watching it.

I'm learning how these women handle everyday military situations and that's always a good thing to know, right? lol

I don't know.....It is an addiction now though.

While I'm making out my 1,400+ index cards to help me (which in the end helps Rick) learn these acronyms I watch it and I think that keeps me from crying so much.

Doing something productive yet being entertained all the while= an addicting combination.

My mouth is warm from all these unspoken words

2008-09-10T15:54:00.012-05:00

I have my good days and then, like today, I have bad ones. Days when I can't seem to get things together and no matter how hard I try to be strong, knowing that's what is best for everyone, it still seems impossible.

Something happened the other day that shook me a bit and I've been trying to decide if I should say anything about it or not. Last night I sat down to try and write what I've been thinking in regards to the situation but nothing ever seemed good enough. However, this afternoon I came across something and decided it was perfect and as such, should take the place of my words.

The definition of “guardian” is one who guards, watches over, or protects. For the guardians of the U.S. Coast Guard, being a guardian takes several forms. A guardian could be a Coast Guard Auxiliary member confined to a wheel chair but able to maintain radio guard for a 41- foot Coast Guard boat watchfully guarding our nation’s waterways.

It could be a Coast Guard Marine Inspector crawling into the bowels of a foreign container ship’s engine room because the inspector saw a suspicious pool of oil indicating a potential engine failure.
Like guardian angels, the Coast Guard is often unnoticed. Each and every member of the Coast Guard family -the storekeeper providing logistical support, an Auxiliarist on a routine patrol, a Coast Guard Reservist deployed to Bahrain, a Coast Guard civilian employee repairing a buoy or a Coast Guard retiree recruiting young people to the Coast Guard Academy - they are all, in fact, guardians.

Risk is inherent in being a guardian.

Earlier this week in Honolulu the Coast Guard family lost three Guardians and have suspended searching for a fourth. Something happened as the aircrew of a Coast Guard rescue helicopter was performing hoist operations with a Coast Guard 47-foot motor life boat. This tragic loss has gone largely gone unnoticed, perhaps because the country was focused on other Coast Guard guardians mobilizing to respond to hurricane threats in the Gulf of Mexico.

Coast Guard Commandant Thad Allen told the entire Coast Guard family,

“As Guardians, we constantly train and hone our skills in order to operate in hazardous conditions. This terrible accident is a reminder that we operate in an extremely hazardous environment. Coast Guard men and women go into harm’s way to train and conduct operations each day."
---------

There was a bit more but the above mentioned pretty much covers what I've been thinking lately.

One of my all time favorite movies is The Guardian. It has been since it came out back in 2006(or around then) and I could seriously sit down and watch that movie all day but I can't for the life of me watch the scene where the helo goes down in the water. Since Rick got serious about being in the CG I just pass right over it everytime.

I know I need to stop worrying about the dangers but after this I'm not so sure that's going to be easy. Help is something I am going to have to learn to accept from now on otherwise I wont be very good at this and I want so desperately to be good at this--all of this.

Richard will be leaving in less than two years (that might seem like a while but I'm sure I wont feel like a long time) to start his life as a Coastie and honestly, I couldn't be prouder of him! Forgive me though, I still worry. The unanswered questions seem harder as time goes on but faith will get me though. I know it will.....but still. :/

It's more than just Richard now though....so much more.

I just have so much on my mind now. I've been hoping that in time the added communication will help ease this feeling I have but I could be waiting a bit longer than I thought for it and I'm not so sure what to do in the meantime.....

I guess while I wait I could just keep trying to learn these darn acronyms...all twenty-four hundred of them! lol

I still have so much to learn and I know the time I've put into learning all this will be worth it but really I think love, patience and acceptance of the things unknown will be more powerful than knowledge in the end. I hope so anyway. :/

I want to be ready for whatever though. I will be ready for whatever.

I will be strong even if it's just on the outside.

I will be patient, now more than ever.

I will trust that things will be okay.

I will love....

Love like I've never loved before.

This will be fine.

Again, we are one day closer.

I made it

2008-09-09T15:32:00.009-05:00

Another day down. :)

I have a bite mark to add to the collection of injuries attained at work. It goes well with the cut I have above my lip from where some 6 year old thought it would be amusing to show me how great his left hook is.
Let me tell you, it was great. Too bad I didn't react sooner. The thing that bugs me most about working with these kids(and it has noting to do with the kids themselves) is that they are learning this behavior from somewhere. Two guesses where and I bet I only need one. :/
I seriously love this job though!

Okay, moving on.
Funny story or to me it was at least. I guess adorable is a more accurate term though. Who knows, you decide.

I was in a classroom today working with a girl that has down syndrome and while I was there the rest of her class was working on rhyming words. The teacher explained rhyming words and then sent them to their seats with an assignment. Write two sets of rhyming words (cat-sat, house-mouse) then draw a picture to go with it.

A boy that sits next to the girl I was working with was just sitting there at his desk for like 10 minutes staring off into space so I encouraged him to get busy....
He looked at me like he had just noticed I was there and said, "Ma'am, maybe you can help me.... I can't think of anything that rhymes with Dallas Cowboys. That's what I really want to use but I just can't think of anything." Then he sighed really heavy and threw up his arms a bit.
I simply smiled and politely told him I was sorry but nothing came to mind.
How cute though that he had been trying to come up with something to rhyme with Dallas Cowboys when he could have just did something more simple like the other kids. It was grand.

Then, for his second set of words (this story isn't amusing at ALL...just giving fair warning) I watched as he drew a flag pole then my heart fluttered with excitement as he added an American flag to it. Next to the flag pole he drew an Army kit bag(flag-bag).

My heart fluttered again but it wasn't the same.
Only a kid coming from a military family would do something like that, seriously. When I saw that and realized what it meant....man, to tell you the truth, it broke my heart. He looked up at me and his face changed as we looked into each others eyes and he said in a really flat tone, "Daddy had to go away for a long time"
I just nodded my head as I went over to him and wrapped him in my arms as I watched a tear roll down his innocent, pale cheek. I honestly can't even imagine what all this child feels or thinks in regards to all of this.

Seven, and still he knew enough of what was going on otherwise he wouldn't have acted that way. His face wouldn't have changed the way it did and he wouldn't have just started crying like that.
But he was so sweet and mature about it. I helped him wipe away the tears and that adorable young man looked up at me, smiled and said, "You know what though, Miss Lauren? It's okay that Daddy left." I looked at him kind of taken aback. He continued, "I am proud of Daddy 'cause I know he left to help the good guys."

After that I was the one crying! It was such a precious moment though and I really do feel blessed to have had it. I just....wow. Children never cease to amaze me.

It's puppy love!!! :D

2008-09-08T22:45:00.010-05:00

Awww!!

He is adorable!!!

I want him!!!!! :D

I would name him....

Jace and probably call him Jay for short cause I'm all about the nicknames. lol

Jace wasn't really my first pick but here's how I came up with it...hold on cause this could get crazy lol

I love my Cowboys. Taking that another step, I love Jason Witten.

I didn't want to name him Jason cause that's gay. (hahah! J/K)

But really, I didn't want to name him that. So I kept thinking and Jace came to mind. I didn't like it spelled "Jase" either so thats why its "Jace". Plus Jace sounds like Chase and I simply adore Chase Utley. :D

but then I decided I liked Jay soooo..... lol

There you go.

I would probably change that 10 times at least before I actually liked something enough to keep it.

I am so indecisive.

I hope if I have kids my husband, whoever he may be, is good at this stuff cause it's obvious I am not! lol

I have fun with it though.

Here are some others Kris came up with (it's obvious she did too hahaha!)

Izzie (I wouldn't have minded that if it were a girl)

Meredith (Izzie and Meredith, you would never guess she watches Grey's Anatomy would you?? lol)

Hildagard

Capri Sun (Sunny Sun for short.....lol)

Sassy, Chance or Shadow (from Homeward Bound)

Sandy (cause I love the beach lol)

I think there may have been a few others she came up with but I don't remember them now.

Oh wait, Mormon. That was another one.

It came to her after we talked about Glenn Beck lol

I thought about Bailey, maybe?? But I really want a male German Shepherd.

Then I thought about Hunter (Hunter Pence) but I didn't really like it much after thinking about it. But Hunter sounds like Gunner (at least with my southern drawl it does lol) and I like Gunner for personal reasons but Gunner isn't much of a name for a dog.

But anyway...

This has been fun to say the least.

Now if I just had a puppy for real that would be fantastic!

On to a different kind of love....

I was reading some of John Donne's love poems tonight and wanted a little help or other people's opinions on The Ecstasy. I came across eliteskills.com and wanted to pass it along.

Actually, regardless if you've ever read Donne before, check it out. Broaden your horizons a bit. :)

http://www.eliteskills.com/c/11882

I disagree with parts of it but still thought it was worth mentioning.

I came across this as well. . . .

I believe it is the perfect way to explain how I feel(to an extent anyway).

If they be two, they are two so

As stiff twin encompasses are two,

Thy soul the fixt foot, makes no show

To move, but doth, if th'other doe.

No need for any other opinions here. :)

But if you need it try....

http://www.daltonstate.edu/faculty/kperry/1102critical.htm

I think it's pretty good at explaining.

Enjoy ;)

~Lauren

Alone in a crowded room

2008-09-08T19:34:00.005-05:00

One day closer.

That is all I keep thinking. One day closer. Over and over it runs through my mind.
One day closer. I am getting way too worked up over this. One day closer. What good ever comes from getting worked up anyway? One day closer. What is it about unanswered questions that makes situations seem ten thousand times worse? Just one day.
God has the plan. My God knows what will happen. I will be fine. This will be fine.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

And lean not on your own understanding

In all your ways acknowledge Him

And He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6.

One day closer.

I trust Him to give me what He wills and though I've become impatient at times in waiting for His answers I have always and will always be overwhelmed with how He presents them in a great package. One day closer.